Whether sitting on the toilet, at a stoplight, or at our desks, we pride ourselves on finding the funniest funny tweets on Twitter each week.
This week, the 243rd birthday of America, brought us some especially wonderful entries in the funny tweet log.
Hope you enjoy!
1.
How old were you when you realized you weren’t going to get any more mature, this is just how you are
— Better things are possible (@InternetHippo) July 6, 2019
2.
what a time to be alive pic.twitter.com/QPokktx4Kv
— David Mack (@davidmackau) July 6, 2019
3.
saw myself in a bathing suit today and hot girl summer is CANCELLED, hot personality summer is now ON
— Slutty but Seasonal 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) July 5, 2019
4.
"yo they lookin for u outside, i bit a kid." pic.twitter.com/g3BKz2eHvp
— pau (@iicywifey) June 30, 2019
5.
No officer it’s okay they’re CBD fireworks
— 𝐁𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐡𝐧 (@Buncahn) July 5, 2019
6.
They had me fucked up ❗️🤣 pic.twitter.com/Q5R3AEwrCH
— Gbaby🖤 (@vibewithgabb) September 12, 2019
7.
https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/1172298108463484928
8.
i’m not gonna ask you again, what the fuck is in your mouth pic.twitter.com/LOw16CqPeJ
— chris (@skatehair) June 28, 2019
9.
I’m only gonna say this once but Jake Gyllenhaal looks so much like the lion from Madagascar pic.twitter.com/AGhZKAIFPD
— Lucinda (@ellkay_) July 4, 2019
10.
Why is this bee notice styled like a wedding invitation pic.twitter.com/ij13lp34Pb
— Theodore McCombs (@mrbruff) June 29, 2019
11.
Yes I got a vibrator stuck inside myself this morning. Working From Home doesn’t prevent Workplace Injuries.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) July 3, 2019
12.
— kevin jonas (@kevinjonas) July 4, 2019
13.
WE THE BEST MERMAID https://t.co/84os1cDSmq
— the artist formerly known as the Iron Sherk (@TheIronSherk) July 6, 2019
14.
So I walk into the bathroom and this girl stops me from entering the stall and says:
“Sorry I couldn’t help but notice your earrings, are you from Texas??”
These are the earrings I was wearing: pic.twitter.com/YLIkrQD2uD
— ባጣ ቆዪኝ (@sendhalewa) September 5, 2019
15.
give us what we want pic.twitter.com/iyiVKij4cB
— Rachel Borat Kaly (@rachel_kaly) July 4, 2019
16.
police: fireworks are illegal in LA
LA:pic.twitter.com/mlA9xrzH4V— karyn spencer (@KarynSpencer) July 5, 2019
17.
https://twitter.com/domcorona_/status/1147191007727038464
18.
when you finally meet that special someone pic.twitter.com/oYy1PzSZmi
— Boosh (@whatsupboosh) July 1, 2019
19.
And there’s still a gender pay gap. pic.twitter.com/2gnauST9ND
— Chad Loder (@chadloder) June 22, 2019
20.
The Washington Monument during the fireworks is pretty fuckin terrifying pic.twitter.com/FtyMW9rpLO
— Matthew Gaydos (@MatthewGaydos) July 5, 2019
21.
Dude deciding to breakdance during this melee is my favorite guy ever…🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/RXy7bpf9h6
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) July 2, 2019
22.
REMBER pic.twitter.com/9DhaE3WX8O
— shrine to nothing (@wrong_rachel) July 4, 2019
23.
If it fits, I sits… mountain lion edition! pic.twitter.com/EdRlep39nB
— AliceInBondageLand (@BondageLand) July 6, 2019
24.
instagram WOULD go down the fucking day i run out of fit tea
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) July 3, 2019
25.
When there’s no more toilet paper and you have to walk to the kitchen to get napkins. https://t.co/X7sgj3Psm0
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) July 6, 2019
More funny tweets: