11.
Boromir
– horrible combination of inferiority complex and fragile ego
– has never heard the word “no”
– really, really thinks getting married will fix your relationship problems? pic.twitter.com/gXKTudqRsx— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
12.
Treebeard:
– there are only so many hours in the goddamn day
– serves you mushrooms of suspect providence
– no seriously, what happened to your ex wife? You “lost” her? I’m gonna need you to be a lot more specific, bud pic.twitter.com/qHcIbhABDw— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
13.
Haldir:
– on again, off again bc he lives for drama
– backhanded compliments
– influencer who keeps mining your relationship for content pic.twitter.com/P4A2xtxfg0— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
14.
Elrond:
– dude…that was kind of racist
– orders for you at restaurants
– never apologizes ever, for anything, even if it’s his fault pic.twitter.com/X1CvsvLFMF— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
15.
Theoden:
– daddy dom well dried up
– not worth having to sit through another monologue about how “music today is all beeps and boops”
– performance in off-broadway production of Hamlet left a lot to be desired pic.twitter.com/HOA5JYG9W8— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
16.
Denethor:
– terrible table manners
– no
– why would you ever? pic.twitter.com/7nmc07zEcA— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
17.
Sarumon:
– Spends way too much time on Reddit
– has a PHD in philosophy, and works it into every conversation
– is absolutely cheating on you pic.twitter.com/jyxI8lm3IE— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
18.
Isildur
– more of an ill-advised fling you had on vacation
– works in investment banking
– turns out he’s married pic.twitter.com/8jT3PA6Ym3— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
19.
Bilbo:
– allergic to fun
– thinks you need to “broaden your horizons” so he wants you to read Kerouac
– Calls himself a self-made man even though he inherented the house pic.twitter.com/8xiMm0eqKh— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
20.
Gollum:
– he is definitely going to steal your wallet one of these days
– does not want you to have any friends
– will not stop talking about himself in the third person pic.twitter.com/otuMbkKov5— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020