21.
Wormtongue
– 100% gaslighting you
– has never changed the sheets, ever
– “Name five of their songs, poseur” pic.twitter.com/jjLB1lI8n2— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
22.
The Witch King
– despite obvious predilection for gender-bending, doesn’t respect anyone else’s pronouns
– listens to screamo at ear splitting volumes
– won’t post photos of you together on Insta bc you’re bad for his aesthetic pic.twitter.com/aHpF9pZFyO— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
23.
The Witch King
– despite obvious predilection for gender-bending, doesn’t respect anyone else’s pronouns
– listens to screamo at ear splitting volumes
– won’t post photos of you together on Insta bc you’re bad for his aesthetic pic.twitter.com/aHpF9pZFyO— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
24.
Lurtz
– Calls you “bird”
– Watches game with the lads twice a week, no exception
– Service station chocolates and rose for Valentines. pic.twitter.com/MdzkySdivq— James Holloway (@JamesNonchalant) May 12, 2020
25.
Ok, I’ll cave, Thranduil:
– when you try to make plans, he says “whatever you want do”, but absolutely does not mean it
– can afford to tip, but doesn’t
– leaves you on read pic.twitter.com/ierBy4SuxO— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
26.
Sauron:
– brags about belonging to MENSA
– manages several sock puppet accounts he doesn’t want you to know about
– kicked out of his own doom metal band bc he always plays with his back to the audience—but it’s not because he has stage fright, okay? pic.twitter.com/BsMdZq2RGY— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
27.
Kili:
– an absolutely prototypical fuckboy
– thinks his entire charm is his sense of humour, but is not actually funny
– sends unsolicited dick picks pic.twitter.com/hMV7V8IbVL— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
28.
Bard:
– manages simultaneously to be so handsome and so boring you forgot about him
– already in a committed relationship with his Bowflex
– you ran out of shit to talk about on your first date pic.twitter.com/I7jHzcb4Em— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
29.
The Mouth of Sauron:
– mad about perceived slights in this comedy thread
– hustle culture
– spends all his free time playing Warframe pic.twitter.com/nsUSWcc6Aw— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020
30.
Everard Proudfoot:
– his kink is pointing out spelling errors in tweets
– believes dragons in medieval fantasy inexplicably more “historically accurate” than black people
– you have to let him win at multiplayer or he pouts all day pic.twitter.com/8jyZBIG39t— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 13, 2020