Listen…… I don’t think I’m breaking any news here when I say that everyone masturbates. It’s just a natural part of being a human being!
It’s also an acceptable human activity—if you’re a man.
Guys are free to make crude jokes about cranking off, but women? Not so much.
While women are sexualized and objectified by every form of media, female pleasure remains bizarrely stigmatized.
Our culture loves sexy women but hates women having sex—especially if they’re taking matters into their own hands. Not these hilarious women though. They all know that—like most basic biological functions—touching yourself is… kinda hilarious.
me stealing batteries from work to put in my vibrator: This Is What A Femnist Looks Like 🙂
— Tig Notaro (@TigNotaro) June 13, 2018
“Am I sexier to myself *without* my nightguard?” – me, before I masturbate at bedtime
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) June 21, 2019
M: *drunk* This vibrator isn't working.
H: *from another room* HAS ANYONE SEEN THE REMOTE?
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) November 18, 2017
Two things you should do every day: masturbate and dress like you're going to run into your ex.
— Princess Anüs (@Slashleen) October 4, 2014
Stages of realizing my vibrator is photo bombing me pic.twitter.com/0VrQlb5GG9
— Casha (@Nuedvixx) June 17, 2018
Whoever's making my voodoo doll masturbate to Man vs Food reruns, please stop. This is scaring me.
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) July 25, 2013
my mam just opened my drawer that contains tobacco skins a packet of jellies a bong and a few vibrators and asked me if this is what inside my mind looks like
— kaytamine (@fleetwood__max) July 5, 2019
It’s called a bullet vibrator because it kills your ability to orgasm with men.
— Kie (@KielyHealey) July 6, 2019
Masturbating too much leads to two things: loss of memory and something else…
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) January 21, 2013