Bride Wants Her Wedding Guests To Stay Silent During The Reception And Asks If It’s A Red Flag

A bride-to-be wrote in to The Washington Post‘s Dear Amy with a very strange quandary: she wants to have a silent wedding.


That’s right — no speaking will be allowed during both the ceremony and the reception. People may whisper. They also have to wear yellow.

“Dear Amy: My fiancé and I are planning our wedding. As a bride, I’m planning on making certain requests of my guests, to make sure that my special day is as perfect as possible. For example, I’m asking that my guests wear exclusively yellow at the ceremony.

“My fiancé has been supportive, but he angrily rejected my other request: that our guests remain silent throughout both the ceremony and reception (to ensure that the focus remains on us). My fiancé said that is irrational. He does not want to have a silent wedding.”

“I know it’s uncommon. I’ve never heard of anyone else having one, but we’ve had them in my family. The guests are not permitted to speak at all during the ceremony, and the only toasts allowed are from the mothers of the bride and groom. Instrumental music will be playing quietly.”

“During the reception, the guests may whisper among one another, but may not speak aloud. As the newly married couple, our focus should remain solely on each other rather than on any rowdy guests.”

I know it’s a lot to ask, but I feel I should have the wedding I want, so that the start of our life together will be perfect. I want him to support me, even if we disagree on something.”

I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to talk to your guests, but this bride is very focused on herself and is worried people won’t be as into staring silently at her every move. Her fiancé said absolutely not, he does not want a silent wedding — and when she asked if his refusal is a red flag? Honey, look in the mirror. There is a red flag staring back at you.

The Washington Post

The absolutely bonkers letter was shared on Twitter, where it was roasted summarily.

There are plenty of ways to make your wedding more of a quiet party and less of a rave, but forcing your guests to be silent is not one of those ways.

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.