A post on the “Bridezillas” forum on Reddit is getting attention for showing a Facebook post by a woman asking if she was being “unreasonable” for expecting her poor maid of honor to be instantly responsive to her because the wedding is coming up.
After all, they only have two years and 27 days to plan before the big day on September 28, 2024.
The post reads:
“My wedding is 9/28/24 and I’m planning pretty far ahead to help ease stress, my MOH has not been responding to me and it seems to be only at her convenience”
“But there are times where I’m not responded to for days. I’m beyond frustrated and want to demote her to just a bridesmaid. Is this fair? Or am I being too unreasonable?”
People becoming frustrated over response times from those they message is not a new phenomenon by any measure. Folks have been clashing on the subject for some time, with some feeling that a lack of a prompt response is disrespectful and others feeling like this is an unreasonable expectation and that no one is entitled to another’s time. Some feel anxious when a response doesn’t come within an expected time frame, while others have conditions like ADHD that interfere with attention and memory.
However, in this case, most commenters seem to feel that it is utterly unreasonable to expect someone to be responsive on the subject of a wedding that isn’t taking place for over two years. Most weddings are planned and executed in around a year’s time, and even if a bride is giving herself more time (which is perfectly reasonable), it’s weird to expect a level of urgency typically reserved for a couple of months out.
More than a few people pointed out that it would be a nightmare for a maid of honor to have to basically dedicate the next two years of her life to be at the bride’s beck and call, responding to every message like the wedding is next week. That individual might actually be relieved to be “demoted” to bridesmaid, and the bride might have a heck of a time finding someone who will put up with all that.
Time to fork over the cash for a dedicated wedding planner, perhaps.
The phenomenon of the “bridezilla” is a somewhat recent one that seems to have arisen out of the monumental pressure many Americans and others put on themselves to have the perfect wedding. Media including TV shows, magazine covers, and an entire massive industry dedicated to a single day of a person’s life puts a serious amount of pressure on the couple, and most of that very often falls onto the shoulders of the bride.
The solution to the stress this bride is feeling is not to put a bunch of that pressure onto the shoulders of another woman, but to realize that expecting a wedding to be a perfect dream of a day is the unreasonable bit that only makes people miserable. Plus, your bad behavior might end up displayed on Reddit for everyone to make fun of.
