Mom Asks For Advice When Her 12-Y.O. Is Asked To Help Pay For Bachelorette Party

One of the worst parts about being a bridesmaid is the amount of cash you have to throw at someone else’s wedding. It’s hard enough for most adults to budget, let alone this 12-year-old junior bridesmaid. 

brides and bridesmaid looking at the back
Photo by Fernanda Nuso on Unsplash

A recent thread on Reddit went viral because of this gigantic ask. Reddit user koriisbombxo wanted to know if she was the a**hole for thinking her 12-year-old daughter should not be financially responsible for someone else’s wedding. 

She explains both she and her daughter are in her brother’s upcoming wedding. The wedding party has ten bridesmaids, with two junior bridesmaids— one being the daughter. Drama exploded in a wedding group message when the maid of honor said the minors needed to chip in for the bachelorette party. 

OP writes: “I don’t feel that the two young girls or their parents should have to worry about paying for their share of the party. The cost that the maid of honor is talking about is about $600 per bridesmaid. So that means now I would have to pay $1,200 for a shower. Am I wrong for thinking that the eight adult bridesmaids should be paying for this shower and not including the kids?”

Here’s what the internet thought of the situation:


“NTA. How is a bridal shower going to cost $6000? And then a Bachelorette party as well? There needs to be limits put on this now. Even $600 a person is too much.” – dauphineep


“I want to see the Pinterest board for this party because I can’t even imagine….NTA and wtf” – Major-Jellyfish-1282


“MY ENTIRE WEDDING COST $8000!” – moose8617


“NTA: this is a ridiculous ask period. It’s possible this maid of honor is making rules without the bride’s knowledge and you have every right to speak with your SISTER IN LAW to be about such a ridiculous ask. Sounds to me like a way for her to reduce the amount of money she and the other childless bride maids have to pay while putting it all on the 2 mothers/children.” – dnjprod


“NTA. That is ridiculous! I am so confused by the entire “the bridesmaids pay for the shower” thing as it is. My best friend hosted my shower and paid for it with my mom. I have two kids who have gotten married and I hosted my DIL’s shower and my daughter’s shower and paid for them. I have hosted showers for friends and paid for them as well. I don’t think I have spent $6000 in total.” – sheramom4


“I’ve never heard of bridesmaids paying for the shower either. My mom and aunts had my shower and they covered the cost of it. It probably cost a few hundred dollars which was split between 5 or 6 people. My entire wedding was half the cost of this shower!” – llamamama08


“NTA. Also, $600 per person for the shower, what the actual heck?!?!?! Even if the issue with the junior bridesmaids didn’t exist, I would be backing out of being a part of the bridal party. I’d rather give those $600 directly to the newlyweds instead of putting it into a ridiculously over the top shower.” – lc_2005


“Isn’t the shower the thing where the bride gets a bunch of gifts? So they have to pay 600 bucks to go to an event where they have to hand over a gift?” – DoctorsHouse


“The amount is insane. I organized a Bachelorette party few years ago, first things I asked was what was the amount every bridesmaids had. Some haven’t a big budget so I dealt with it and I organize an amazing weekend in Spain it cost us 150€ per person for everything (accommodations, rental car, restaurants and even rockabilly dresses for every bridesmaids and the bride). I don’t know what I could have organize with 60000€” – Coralicorne


“NTA- first off this is insane! Who spends that much money on showers and bachelorette parties. And no, the children don’t have to pay their share. Pretty sure they won’t be chugging the mimosas and whooping it up on the weekend away” – bitchy_badger

The saga thankfully has a happy ending, thanks to an update from OP. It turns out the bride and groom had no idea about this party: 

“Update !!!! My brother and SIL had no idea this party was being planned so extravagantly. Neither one of them want a shower that is going to cost this much. They both said they were going to talk to the MOH and tone her back a little. SIL is actually very angry as she knows her sister wouldn’t be able to afford that either. Thank you all for helping me. I had no idea this was going to blow up so much !”

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