“Wrap It Twice”—20 People Share The Worst Sex Ed Advice They Got In School

I’m not sure how it is today, but when I was in school, sex ed was a joke. At my all-girls Catholic high school, it was taught in Religion class, not Science class. And it was basically a way to shame us all into never asking questions about our bodies. I still remember the image of the pubic lice, magnified by 100% and projected on the whiteboard so that it looked like it was about to attack us.

On Reddit, people are sharing their worst sex ed stories, and I’m honestly horrified. Did anyone get a good sexual education in school? Or were we all woefully let down? 

1. 

“I had a gym teacher say its impossible to have sex with a woman if she didn’t want to because the hole closes up if she doesn’t want to. He went to jail for guess what!!” — NilremR

2. 

“This isn’t advice but my sex ed teacher told us, ‘Ejaculate is the whitest substance on Earth.'” — Gordmonger

3. 

“The sex ed I had in school consisted entirely of a 20 minute video in 3rd or 4th grade that basically amounted to sometimes you’ll ‘pee your pants when you’re asleep but it’s not pee. This is normal.” And in ‘health’ class we had a unit on STDs. Not like how to prevent, treat them, but ‘wow, this sucks, look at all those rashes and hives you can get.’ So I’d say the worst sex ed advice I received at school was ‘N/A’.” — Astramancer_

4. 

“That sex isn’t supposed to end until the lady’s boobs start whistling.” — Mauchit_Ron

5. 

“Don’t have sex or your penis will fall off.” — MEGAMANDANTHEMAN

6. 

“We were told that a wet dream produced an amount of fluid tantamount to wetting the bed. They didn’t even tell us what fluid it was.” — ZainCGSteele

7. 

“As a guy, the only thing I learned from sex ed (and this was for all the boys to learn once the girls were separated) was that pregnancy can happen and this what an anatomically correct penis is.” — Cheetodude625

8. 

“It was unsolicited sex advice from a psych TA. ‘Don’t go into dark alleys because you WILL end up having sex in there.’ With who? No freakin idea. Maybe the weird alley sex goblins.” — whatsupitty

9. 

“I once had a Jehovah’s Witness tell me I WILL end up being pregnant if I let a guy kiss me. So that was weird.” — sojojo142

10. 

“The STD talk during my middle school’s health class comprised of a vague video showing a paint brush dipping into various paints, one after another, until there was a messy smear of colors everywhere. The advice was, verbatim, ‘Girls, don’t let other people’s paint get anywhere near you.’ Art class afterwards was real fun though.” — the-number-pi

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.