The best part about having close friends you feel 100% comfortable with is being able to share the highs and lows of life with them. From bad dates to job promotions and everything in between, your friends are people you can share anything with, even down to details about your secret sex life.
However, there is a limit to what your friends want to know about your time between the sheets, as these 17 people over on the AskReddit subreddit can attest to. They really wish their pals would have kept their secret sex life details to themselves, and frankly, I wish that too after reading them.
Here are some of the best (worst) answers to one Redditor’s question “What did you find out about your friends’ secret sex life that actually shocked you?”
1. Rude awakening
“That he was having sex with my fiancé.” – 1904in1901
2. Blowjob bribes
My best friend uses blowjobs as bribery to an insane degree. I mean, I’m not above a little BJ bribery myself, but she uses it on her husband like several times a day. Wants coffee, but doesn’t want to make it? BJ. Doesn’t want to clean the dishes? BJ. It’s her turn to walk the dogs? BJ. It’s kind of hilarious, she’s super lazy, but prefers giving him head to doing most chores and apparently it works for him too. She also doesn’t want sex as often as he does, so she finds this keeps him happy and she doesn’t feel the need to “put out” as much. All of which I find hilarious. – flippantcedar
3. Five’s company
“Found out half of my friend group were regularly having foursomes together AND RUDELY NOT INVITING THE REST OF US.” – JamesAndTheGiantAss
4. Friends with benefits
“A friend of mine thinks of me while having sex so they can ‘keep going for much longer.'” – JTDriver13
5. Pregnancy scares
“My friend had anal sex with her boyfriend for 5 years before having vaginal sex. She was too scared she would get pregnant. I have nothing against anal sex but it totally shocked the hell out of me.” – nurse_pineapple
6. Horny housesitters
“That when house sitting for us he and his wife fucked in every room of our house and also on my motorcycle.” – Yankee_F_Doodle
7. “Spooning” in bed
“My best friend in college got in a pretty kinky sexual relationship with this dude for a while. They’d do BDSM type stuff (none of which is particularly shocking to me) but I remember visiting her apartment and seeing a spoon out randomly in her room and asked why it was there…
She said she loved the taste of his cum so much he’d jerk off onto the spoon and feed it to her while she was tied up. I didn’t think she’d ever really shock me but that one took the cake.” – l8nitefriend
8. Virgin surgeon
“Best friend in HS was casually seeing this dude who was a Senior our sophomore year, well he graduated and dumped her. Next year his brother started HS, she proceeded to date him. Took both of their virginities.” – drown_the_rabbit
9. Dead wrong
“A couple that I was friends with was into necrophilia play. He would make his wife take an ice cold shower, quickly dry off, and then she’d just lay there while he fucked her cold unmoving body….and they really liked it.” – Link-to-the-Pastiche
10. Pirate booty
“That she had elaborate pirate role play sex.
We were housemates in college and I heard way more than I barrgained for.
Also the guy she had elaborate pirate role play sex with smelled bad and wore those shoes with the separate toes.” – AlternateNameNoShame