I’m not sure what’s going on over at Jamie Lynn Spears’ house, but it’s worrying. TMZ reports that Spears posted a video she has since deleted, though they’ve captured it for posterity, in which she gives Tesla Motors some very specific criticism.
“I know that there’s just bigger things to worry about in the world right now, but somebody’s gotta let Elon Musk know that the Tesla is a secret cat killer and it’s a problem that we’ve really got to fix,” she says. “We have now lost—I don’t even want to tell you how many cats…It’s really devastating and tragic for everyone involved.”
Um, what in the what?!
Spears suggests that Elon Musk can stop her cat murdering spree by maybe having new models make “one of those noises that bother cat or animal ears when it cranks up, so that way, they know something’s happening and they aren’t caught off guard and things don’t end in a very tragic way.”
She concludes, “So, Elon Musk, let’s figure this out. I mean, you owe me a couple cats.”
Clearly, Spears thought this video was the work of an idea genius, not realizing she was confessing to being a cat serial killer. There was some backlash:
I’m sorry but nothing will discract me today from the fact that Jamie Lynn Spears thinks it’s Tesla’s fault that she’s a serial cat killer.
— casa d'funk (@tangentialform) January 16, 2021
Not Jamie Lynn Spears losing track of how many of her cats she's killed with her Tesla 💀
— Paquita La Del Barrio (@pan_con_chumpe) January 16, 2021
Hoping all the animal shelters put a ban on Jamie Lynn Spears from adopting any more cats. Ffs
— Casey (@caseyns) January 16, 2021
Jamie Lynn Spears’ Tesla killed HOW MANY OF HER CATS ?? at what point do u switch cars ?? Like wtf this is 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/6drql0tIvY
— JAKEYONCETV #FreeBritney (@jakeyoncetv) January 16, 2021
Jamie Lynn Spears running over “countless” numbers of her pet cats and reaching out to Tesla to blame and for solutions is my energy all 2021
— Brandon (@bruhndooon) January 16, 2021
Tesla probably isn’t the reason Spears runs over her cats, but they do seem to be controlling her in some way because she posted a few Instagram stories going back on her previous statements:
Spears new Instagram stories renege on some of her previous statements, saying she “did not run over any cats,” and “TESLA is not to be blamed, and was never intended to be,” and admitted that “user error” was involved and we should all check for animals before turning on our own Teslas.
“I was only making a suggestion about something I think would be extremely helpful, and the geniuses at @teslamotors are the best to go to for said issue,” she concluded. “Xoxoxo.”
She signed off with one more bonus statement about just how much she loves Tesla for good measure:
This creates more problems for me. If Jamie Lynn Spears isn’t killing all her cats with her Tesla, who is?