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Jamie Lynn Spears Blames Tesla For All Of Her Dead Cats—But Then Backpedaled

I’m not sure what’s going on over at Jamie Lynn Spears’ house, but it’s worrying. TMZ reports that Spears posted a video she has since deleted, though they’ve captured it for posterity, in which she gives Tesla Motors some very specific criticism.

“I know that there’s just bigger things to worry about in the world right now, but somebody’s gotta let Elon Musk know that the Tesla is a secret cat killer and it’s a problem that we’ve really got to fix,” she says. “We have now lost—I don’t even want to tell you how many cats…It’s really devastating and tragic for everyone involved.”

Um, what in the what?!

Spears suggests that Elon Musk can stop her cat murdering spree by maybe having new models make “one of those noises that bother cat or animal ears when it cranks up, so that way, they know something’s happening and they aren’t caught off guard and things don’t end in a very tragic way.”

She concludes, “So, Elon Musk, let’s figure this out. I mean, you owe me a couple cats.”

Clearly, Spears thought this video was the work of an idea genius, not realizing she was confessing to being a cat serial killer. There was some backlash:

Tesla probably isn’t the reason Spears runs over her cats, but they do seem to be controlling her in some way because she posted a few Instagram stories going back on her previous statements:

@jamielynnspears/Instagram

Spears new Instagram stories renege on some of her previous statements, saying she “did not run over any cats,” and “TESLA is not to be blamed, and was never intended to be,” and admitted that “user error” was involved and we should all check for animals before turning on our own Teslas. 

“I was only making a suggestion about something I think would be extremely helpful, and the geniuses at @teslamotors are the best to go to for said issue,” she concluded. “Xoxoxo.”

She signed off with one more bonus statement about just how much she loves Tesla for good measure:

@jamielynnspears/Instagram

This creates more problems for me. If Jamie Lynn Spears isn’t killing all her cats with her Tesla, who is?

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