Ruin My Week
Sex can be a lot of things. It can be hot and steamy, quick and mechanical, and sometimes downright goofy.
When you think about it, sex is pretty awkward! You’ve got two naked, sweaty people (who may or may not know one another well) trying to coordinate their movements while giving and experiencing pleasure—it’s a recipe for disaster! Stupid things are bound to happen and everyone’s experienced at least one “sexy” moment that ends in laughter.
Someone on Reddit recently asked, “What’s something you did during sex that was so stupid you still facepalm about it today?”
Thankfully, plenty of people are brave enough to share their biggest sexual facepalms with the rest of the internet, and now it’s our turn to laugh.
1.
“I was having sex with a bald girl. I’m hitting from the back and I’m super horny and in the moment I couldn’t think of an alternative to hair pulling so I just grabbed her head like a f–king basketball, she starts dying laughing immediately.”—TKOism
2.
“First time I saw a penis, I was like, ‘Wow so that’s it.’ I meant like, ‘Wow it’s actually there. Here it is.’ But he understood it like it wasn’t big or something like, ‘Where’s the rest of it?'”—Greenbeanee
3.
“This was a bit of a misunderstanding, but when my boyfriend and I first got together, I was going to give him a blow job so I took the gum out of my mouth and I thought I put it in the trash bin. I did not. After we finished I went to the bathroom and saw gum all over my hair! I guess it was still on my hand when I put my hair up with a hair tie. So I said “man this takes me back to my childhood!” (referring to the gum stuck in my hair). When I walked back into his room, his face had changed from happy bliss to complete concern. After a pause he finally says he was so sorry and that we didn’t have to do that again. He hadn’t seen the gum in my hair. He thought I was talking about a childhood filled with blow jobs. Once we figured out the mix-up, he was still a bit shaken by my childhood.”—theWildBore
4.
“One girl I was with in high school was on top, and I had to fart real bad. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just tried to hold it in. She started to get more into it and picked up the pace, which caused a series of tiny rhythmic farts every time she came down. It sounded like a machine gun. She stopped and asked if I farted and I blamed the squeaky bed. She knew.”—WrongWayCharlie
5.
“I had sex with a deaf chick and I was moaning really loud, but she couldn’t hear it, so a gave her a thumbs up for half of it. It became an inside joke.”—Advancedsped
6.
“I asked my boyfriend to talk dirty to me. In the middle of sex he starts saying in my ear “f–k you, f–k you!” I let it happen and afterwards burst out laughing telling him to never do that again.”—funsized_
7.
“I once asked a girl if she came and she said she didn’t know. I told her ‘you probably did.'”—eatthecheddar
8.
“An old girlfriend of mine said she wanted to be slapped while we were going at it. After 100% ensuring she really wanted to be slapped, I slapped her. I missed her cheek and smacked her right in the nose. She yelled, “Ow, fuck!” but thankfully didn’t hold it against me.”—Altnob
9.
“My husband was trying to talk dirty to me and finished a sentence calling me a ‘silly goose.’ Sex was postponed for a good 15 minutes while I laughed my ass off.”—livingmayhem
10.
“So embarrassing… 14-year-old me had never jerked off. I was getting frisky with my first girlfriend when she asks if I’m close. I say ‘I don’t know, does it feel like peeing?’ She says, ‘I think so.’ I proceed to pee everywhere while I run to the bathroom.”—Leowolf
