Confessions

People Are Sharing The Stupidest Thing Horniness Has Made Them Do (26 Stories)

21.

“Once I jilled off for a LONG time, and came so hard I twisted my knee. I limped for a week. Had to tell coworkers I had tripped and fallen.” –mrsademi

22.

“I masturbated during a state standardized test in school because I was so horny I couldn’t focus. I failed of course.” –Professional-Tower76

23.

“At 15 wise years of age, I opted for Vick’s Vapo Rub instead of vaseline to rub one out. After 30 seconds of furious stroking I realized the severity of my mistake. Sh-t burned for hours….on a side note my love gun smelled like mint for a day.” –tugspeedman514

24.

“It made me pay for a $60 escort, at midnight. Off of Backpage. When I was 17. Pretty stupid if you ask me.” –DavidDaDrummer

25.

“I had a huge crush on this one girl all through high school. It never happened. I went away to college, put on some muscle and became more confident, all that jazz. We were all in the same friend group, so naturally when we all came home for the holidays and met up at a house party the whole old gang was there. Including a larger woman who had always made it obvious she had a thing for me…

Well I see my old crush and the first thing she says is “Wow, you look so… rugged!” in a what I now know was a I want to bang you tone… I immediately say “Oh wow? Why would you say that?” Taking it as a not compliment. I had grown a sick beard and was in good shape. I should have taken the compliment.

Well, the night goes on, and fat girl straight up tells me she wants to go have sex in my car. I accept this offer… When we are done some people are leaving the party and we are frantically trying to put our clothes on but we don’t get out of the car in time. As we get out, my crush is like 5 feet away, mostly by herself. Watches us get out of the car and I’ll never forget it… She says “Wow, everyone’s getting laid except for me.” I will never get over this.” –datacollect_ct

26.

“Took a nude using my Skype camera and accidentally set it as my profile picture. I have never moved so fast as I did in the 10 seconds after that moment.” –ExistentialOcto

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