Patricia Grisafi
When you’re dating or have a significant other, you’re bound to make mistakes or say and do stupid things.
On Reddit, folks are talking about the “instant regrets” they had after doing something like playing a joke that went horribly wrong, insulting their partner by accident, or farting in bed.
Or farting anywhere, actually. People, farting is a normal bodily function! Just get over it. Anyway, if you’ve ever felt like you put your foot in your mouth regarding your partner, take comfort in the fact that you are most definitely not alone.
1.
“I went to swipe a wasp away from my now wife on our first date. I accidentally slapped her and then when I went to check if she was okay elbowed her bringing my arm back down. Also, around 5th date I was carrying the bags back to the car and my wife asked if she can help as she was only carrying one bag, I replied “no it’s fine, you’re carrying enough weight already”. She stopped dead and just stared at my while she processed this. She took it all very well but likes to remind me every now and then!” — NordicDodge
2.
“This one wasn’t actually me, but my sister (sorry G!). She and her boyfriend at the time had spent the night together for the first time and she has a sensitive stomach and is frequently gassy. She woke up early and felt the urge to fart, and remembered that a friend had told her that if she scooches to the edge of the bed, pointing her butt out of the covers and uses her hand to slightly spread her butt cheeks, it would be silent and wouldn’t be trapped under the covers. So she did exactly that and heard her new boyfriend say, ‘Umm, what just happened?’ Apparently she didn’t realize there was a mirrored closet behind her and he had watched the entire thing. They are now happily married and trying to start a family.” — iforgotwhatiwasaying
3.
“She did something that was just like her mother. I, of course pointed that out and I swear my soul was ripped from my body for a few moments from the stare she gave me.” — Nickadomus
4.
“My boyfriend asked me what my biggest insecurity was. Then he asked me if it was my nose. This was before we started dating.” — vchhkcci
5.
“My GF was getting into makeup and got new make up which had a bright red lipstick she was super excited about, but I didn’t know she was excited. She surprised me with it and I burst out laughing because I hadn’t seen her wear lipstick before and she looked so cute. She hasn’t ever worn that lipstick again and I feel bad about it years later.” — FlannelBeard
6.
“My boyfriend and I were talking about glasses frames because I need new ones. Him: What do you think about clear ones? Me: Nah, aren’t those out of style now? I think they make people’s faces look bad. Him. Oh. Guess who has clear frames and walked away sadly into the kitchen. I still feel bad. (Normally he wears contacts).” — KittywithCoke
7.
“When I first started dating my boyfriend I was pretty nervous/awkward. He went in for a kiss (we hadn’t kissed much yet) and it dawned on me that my lips were terribly chapped from sunburning myself the other day. I pulled away, and him thinking something was up asked me what was wrong. Of course the only thing my brain could put together was, ‘I’m embarrassed to kiss you with my chapped butthole lips.’ He was obviously confused so I had to explain what I meant. It gets worse though. The night goes on and I end up giving him a blowjob. And as we’re lying there in each other’s arms I casually mention that we technically did anal. I guess in the end he found my humor endearing!” — mkat2018
8.
“Was in a really abusive relationship for 3 years. Now with a wonderful woman. Woke up in the middle of the night after a particularly bad nightmare and turned over and accidentally kneed her gently and said, ‘Shit, name of ex I’m sorry.’ in my dumb sleepy phase. Instantly backpedaled after realizing what I’d done. She caught it but I made up some shit excuse and we let it go. I still think about it to this day.” — HeyUhChill
9.
“One day my girlfriend was texting me complaining about dealing with a certain coworker. The things she was complaining about were rather small, and I wasn’t in a great mood and just wasn’t ready to deal with it as I was also busy at work, so I made the mistake of texting her ‘hey just relax.’ As soon as I saw the text send I knew I had messed up bad.” — boredatwork1419
10.
“I was 17 years old and my girlfriend at the time was packing for a trip. We were talking about the combination she should use for her luggage, and I suggested using the date of my birthday (since her birthday would be too obvious). She then tells me ‘oh I already set it to October 13.’ And me, in my infinite wisdom, deadass said, ‘But why? That’s an insignificant date.’ In one second her face went through half a dozen expressions, each one more terrifying than the last. In that moment I suddenly remembered, that was the day of our first date! Luckily before she could murder me right there, I quickly blurted out ‘waitthat’sthedaywestartedgoingout’ and all was forgiven.” — Theweasels
