My best friend and I snuck out and walked to the nearby convenience store late at night in 6th grade. My father made me write a 20 page research paper on Watergate. I have no idea why he chose the topic but the knowledge has come in handy many times in my life.
Swallowing a tablespoon full of Tabasco sauce; standing in the corner for two hours with a paper bag over my head; being allowed to eat only mashed potatoes with cod liver oil mixed in.
My parents didn’t know what to do with me bc I was being a prick, so they took literally everything out of my room including my bed, it was weird and I remember sitting in the corner with my teddy. I was hiding it so they wouldn’t take that too. I was the first born so they’ve learned.
In elementary school we had this one really strict teacher that would make us T-pose in the back of the room if we were being disruptive. Every one of us scoffed at the idea until about a minute in and your arms are killing you. Very effective punishment.
I was caught eating ice cream by my grandfather. He put a bird cage over my head and made me walk around the neighborhood.
When I was 4, my mother was fed up with my stubborn refusal to eat my sandwich at lunch one day. She picked it up, separated the two slices, and stuck it to my face.
There was a moment of complete silence as I stopped whining and evaluated what she’d done. After that we were both too collapsed with laughter to be mad at each other.
My sister and I were arguing over some cheap plastic recorder (the musical kind, like a clarinet from hell for overtired parents). I wanted it because she wanted it, she wanted it because I wanted it… In the end, my dad walked up to us and settled it by breaking the recorder in half and handing us each a piece. We both learned a valuable lesson that day, I think.
I desperately wanted to order WrestleMania. I was a massive Hulk Hogan fan. Well, I was acting like a little shit and wouldn’t stop. So, my dad ordered the WrestleMania Pay Per View. He sat in the living room and watched it and made me sit in the other room where I could just barely hear it but couldn’t see it. He watched the whole damn thing and didn’t let me move or ever see the screen. It was just effing brutal.
When I was a kid anytime my grandfather heard me say I was bored he’d make me read the newspaper next to him. After an hour or so of that I would no longer be bored. I miss him everytime I see a newspaper.
My mom used to put us up on top of the fridge in her frustration. It was very effective.