Being a celebrity has a lot of benefits, but there are some downsides most of us normals probably don’t think about much. For one, how hard is it to get a date on a Friday night? I’ve always assumed that celebrities have some sort of expensive matchmaker who helps them find someone on their level. But that’s not how it works, apparently, especially when you’re Sharon Stone and no one is on your level.
The actress tweeted at dating app Bumble to let them know that she’d been kicked off their platform because no one believed it was really her, writing, “I went on the @bumble dating sight and they closed my account. Some users reported that it couldn’t possibly be me! Hey @bumble, is being me exclusionary? Don’t shut me out of the hive.”
Damn. I never considered how hard it must be for Sharon Stone to get a not-weird date.
I went on the @bumble dating sight and they closed my account. 👁👁
Some users reported that it couldn’t possibly be me!
Hey @bumble, is being me exclusionary ? 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t shut me out of the hive 🐝
— Sharon Stone (@sharonstone) December 30, 2019
She also shared a screenshot of her blocked notification as proof:
— Sharon Stone (@sharonstone) December 30, 2019
The Internet could not believe it. For one, they all want to date Sharon Stone and the fact that she is single and looking sent a lot of people into apoplexy. There were a lot of horny replies:
Damn that’s so crazy I knew there was a reason we hadn’t matched yet haha but we’re here now so…
— Jollybee Farty 🐛⚠️ (@ShakeNBakey) December 30, 2019
Hey, I don’t have bumble but uh… what are you doing like six months from now?
— Simu Liu (@SimuLiu) December 30, 2019
if youre ever in buffalo and kinda dig fat guys with mustaches my dms are open
also own a car so willing to drive (up to 25 miles) even if ya just close by
talk to ya soon
— StachesStashes (@StachesStashes) December 30, 2019
So @Sharonstone, what kind of woman are you looking for?
— Hilary Rosen (@hilaryr) December 30, 2019
I don’t blame them. I’m a straight woman, and I almost did the same.
— Drea An (@andDCrea) December 30, 2019
Go on date with you I will.
— Baby Yoda (@BabyYodaBaby) December 30, 2019
Sharon, DM me.
— IFY (@IfyNwadiwe) December 30, 2019
Sharon, let’s meet to discuss this urgent matter. pic.twitter.com/teANXXp3JI
— kyle a.b. (@kyalbr) December 30, 2019
You go, Tony. pic.twitter.com/kTAB3XnWrx
— Illuminaughty (@PeteEarthling) December 30, 2019
Sharon, don’t worry about it as I have the perfect date for you..my brother Bruce Buffer..he’s handsome, famous, intelligent, traveled, witty, worldly, athletic, well off financially, perfect age for you and available! Just google him for info and history!@brucebuffer #ItsTime
— Michael Buffer (@Michael_Buffer) December 30, 2019
There were also a number of people who were outraged on behalf of Sharon Stone, but also on behalf of all single people everywhere, who just realized even Sharon Stone can’t get a date.
Let’s see here.
Overly successful woman who is revered beyond her personal accolades can’t find a man secure enough to date her while constantly being in her shadow. I’m shocked. #malefragility
— Ace Robinson (@akeliah) December 30, 2019
Umm, get Sharon Stone back on your wretched grid this goddamn instant and apologize for the audacity.
Take out a few thousand Finance Bros whose bios are a string of flag emojis if you need to make server space, you fools.
— Ben Philippe (@gohomeben) December 30, 2019
Exactly. That’s outrageous.
— Arriadna🗽✨ (@Arriadna) December 30, 2019
Awww, hell… even matchdotcom let Martha Stewart join!
If Sharon Stone can’t get a date, honestly, there’s no hope for the rest of us. I’ll just settle for life with my books📚 & my 3 cats 🐈 🐈 🐈… pic.twitter.com/yOTtl7mU6J
— 🎄#MerryImpeachmas!🍑 (@TheMominatrixx) December 30, 2019
Weird speedbumps like this give the rest of us hope that our speedbumps are not so special and this is all just bumps.
— Dan Telfer (@dantelfer) December 30, 2019
But the most excited people of all were the higher-ups at Bumble, who realized this was a marketing opportunity that could not be passed up. Not only was Bumble trending, but everyone reading this thread would know they might end up swiping on Sharon Stone—as soon as she was reinstated:
Dear Bumble, you are confusing my honesty with your fantasy. This is a disservice to the men and women who partake in @bumble. I am Sharon, I am a woman. Thank you.♥️https://t.co/C1FlN2PsDX
— Sharon Stone (@sharonstone) December 31, 2019
Sounds like plenty of time to set up a Bumble profile. 🐝
— Bumble (@bumble) December 30, 2019
(An update: https://t.co/zNPf3kyCHq)
— Clare O’Connor (@Clare_OC) December 30, 2019
So you see, no one is thirstier than a dating app is, not even the Reply Guys in Sharon’s mentions.
More dating in 2019:
- Cuffing Season Is Here And It’s Time To Start Dating; Here’s Everything You Need To Know To Ease Yourself In
- Woman Hands Out Pamphlets To Avoid Her Family’s Annoying Questions About Her Dating Life
- 30 Tweets That 100 Percent Nail Dating In 2019
- 17 Dudes So Thirsty, They Used LinkedIn As A Dating App
- 25 Of The Funniest Tinder Bios That’ll Make You Hate Dating Less