With pretty much the whole world on lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic, much of the American office workforce is now learning the joys of working from home. And by “joys,” as we bloggers and other shut-ins can undoubtedly tell you, working from home means all PJs, all the time. (Seriously, I have not put on a pair of pants and walked into an office since 2013, and my life is unequivocally that much better for it.)
But because some people just hate to see the joy of others, one party-pooping LA Times writer decided to bestow on the world a take so scorching hot, that scientists may someday harness its heat into a renewable energy source.
On Friday, Adam Tschorn, Deputy Fashion Editor for the Times, published an op-ed aggressively titled: “Enough with the WFH sweatpants. Dress like the adult you’re getting paid to be.” Right out of the gate, that headline is clearly instigative. Dress like the adult you’re getting paid to be? And kindergarten teachers aside—show of hands—who is getting paid to be an adult? Most of us are getting paid to like, perform a job function. But you do you, Adam.
Enough with the WFH sweatpants. Dress like the adult you’re getting paid to be https://t.co/YGCjjU97M4
— Adam Tschorn (@ARTschorn) April 17, 2020
And lest anyone think the headline was purposely attention-grabbing—friends, it gets worse. After humblebragging about his daily routine and personal sense of style (which apparently “falls somewhere between Vermont rural casual and West Coast preppy,” exasperated sigh), our man Adam went there.
You’re more than likely laughing at me right now, sitting there in your yoga pants and your zip-front Patagonia faux fleece thrown over a circa-2000 Coldplay concert T-shirt sourced from the bottom of the hamper — your bare feet swinging wild and free under your Ikea Skarsta worktable. Your slouchy henleys, underwire bras, nice jeans and dry-clean-only designer tops are now shunted to the back of the closet like enriched polonium.
Tell me this mofo did NOT just bring underwire bras into the conversation, a torturous undergarment that he has undoubtedly never in his life been made to endure.
Tl;DR: Adam actually did make a valid point at the end, when he points out that when office drones do finally have to return to the workplace, they’re “probably going to feel like shrugging into a straitjacket you won’t be able to take off for five days.” But even then, that seems like more of a comment that maybe stuffy workplace dress codes are actually kinda bullshit in the first place.
In any case, it should come as little surprise that the op-ed was not well received online, as the tweet promoting the article got quickly ratio’d.
I like my sweatpants. Fuck off.
— Amy Siskind ️ (@Amy_Siskind) April 17, 2020
without reading, my answer is no https://t.co/7wRPUll4IY
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) April 17, 2020
How about fuck no https://t.co/FbX751SF23
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) April 17, 2020
I’m a fashion blogger and I think this is elitist nonsense that only serves to make stressed out and traumatized people feel bad about themselves. https://t.co/9k8hJP6lf2
— Tom and Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) April 17, 2020
Bitch I’m getting paid to write about anime titties I’m dressed for that in my Hello Kitty jammies and oversized Take Back The Night t-shirt https://t.co/PPMTF0nQDv
— Ana Valens (@acvalens) April 17, 2020
This article is odd. And not even because this person is ignoring mass public duress, or is engaging telework as one-size-fit all…but that this person is not being honest with themselves that their adherence to ritual/reverence for rules makes them feel in control right now.
— (@thetrudz) April 17, 2020
I’d encourage whoever wrote this to kiss my whole ass https://t.co/SS5skl4LX8
— Mike Golic Jr (@mikegolicjr) April 17, 2020
Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, off. https://t.co/xWcRKqqZBt
— Emma Vigeland (@EmmaVigeland) April 17, 2020
Like it actually takes decades to get them so perfect
— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) April 17, 2020
And then speaking of Adam’s personal sense of style, eventually, his headshot came into play, and … let’s just say it didn’t help him.
Adam how tall do you need to be to ride the Gravitron
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) April 17, 2020
Why are you dressed like a guy who sells cotton candy at Knott’s Berry Farm because they didn’t run your application through the sex offender registry
— Mass for Shut-ins (is a podcast) (@edburmila) April 17, 2020
I’m not taking fashion advice from a guy who looks like he runs the bumper boats at a segregation-themed amusement park
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) April 17, 2020
— Danny (@recordsANDradio) April 17, 2020
that’s right, you bums! Listen to that big Easter Egg I couldn’t find in the yard last year. pic.twitter.com/wT0yKHtAnB
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) April 17, 2020
Yes, yes. Tell me more about fashion, Dean Norris on vacation. pic.twitter.com/ScWaA5Khyn
— Jensen Karp (@JensenKarp) April 17, 2020
That’s how Instagram influencers dress their 2 year olds named Greighson.
— jess (@philadorablee) April 17, 2020
— Ty Anderson (@_TyAnderson) April 17, 2020
Even the LA Times social media editor wanted to get as far from the damn thing as possible:
hi i am the social media editor and a robot sent this tweet, not me. sent to you from me in my peach printed pjs and cheetah robe at home https://t.co/xX1d7BFeUz
— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) April 17, 2020
Guys, take it from a work-from-home pro. Just wear what makes you happy and comfortable. Especially in these scary and unsure times! And if that means dressing like a Where’s Waldo background character or the toddler son of an Instagram influencer named Greighson when working from home, then so be it.