Masha
11.
things i will never do if we date:
– give you up
– let you down
– run around and desert you
– give you an orgasm
– make you cry
– say goodbye
– tell a lie and hurt you— online moose 🦌 (@tiemoose) October 7, 2018
12.
“i’m not looking for a relationship” but let’s do everything that a relationship consists of as i continue calling you my friend.
— 5: 3666 (@_lesleyallan) September 9, 2018
13.
“Ugh I really like talking to this boy he is so sweet and cute”
*2 days later*
Me: pic.twitter.com/u1wgTYozTC— ẗ̸̪̠̖̗̙̜̪̓̑͗͊̽͑̃̾̈̈́̈͋̀̉̌͌̋͂͆̂̓̈́͛̕̚̕̕̕͠ (@Trophyxt) February 3, 2018
14.
i hate when my friend starts dating an idiot and i have to be like how could you bring this man into our lives
— dirt prince (@pant_leg) August 4, 2018
15.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
— em (@emmabetsinger) July 7, 2018
16.
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) November 12, 2018
17.
[Outside the Club]
Date: wow that was fun!
Me: *glances longingly* maybe next time i can get in
— Quilliam (@nyquills) November 5, 2018
18.
My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
— tay (@Taylor_Stag) November 26, 2018
19.
Ariana had to learn the hard way what all women find out eventually: that sometimes you think a guy is amazing and funny and loving and sexy, but it turns out he’s just tall
— katie (indoors) (@katefeetie) October 15, 2018
20.
https://twitter.com/ArabMuIa/status/1068327400013029376
