Ruin My Week
One of the simplest of human pleasures is the classic dirty joke.
Much like the dad joke, the dirty joke is simple in construction: “What do you call a…”, “Why did [famous character] do [regular task]…” but it takes a little trip to the mind-gutter to really understand.
We heard these growing up from our favorite uncles, older cousins, and—if you’re really lucky—whiskey-sippin’ grandmothers, but they never really landed the way they’re supposed to until we grew into the disgusting adults we are today.
In modern society, we’ve kind of outgrown the dirty joke, what with all the funny memes and relatable tweets these days.
But luckily, one guy on Reddit was itchin’ for that classic naughty chuckle we used to hold so dear.
Recently u/Medical-Link-8391 asked the people of Reddit, “What’s your favorite dirty joke?” and the answers will take you back to the good ol’ days.
Here are 21 of the best dirty jokes, according to Reddit.
1.
“Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant?… Because Ken always came in another box.” –LaxStar4012
2.
“Two deer walk out of a gay bar.
One says to the other, “I can’t believe I blew fifty bucks in there.” –aloysiusmind
3.
“What does the Mafia and a p*ssy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep sh*t.” –smaze38111
4.
“What do you call the sweat between 2 rednecks having sex? Relative humidity.” –IDidntParkHere
5.
“How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin.” –Qwsdxcbjking
6.
“Didn’t Einstein marry his cousin? Guess he loved everything to be relative.” –DM_Me_Ur_Nudes_21
7.
“A nurse in a care home walked past one of the bedrooms to see an elderly lady sucking on her husbands penis. She came in and said “Mrs Philips, you can’t do that.”
“Why not?” She asked, “I enjoy doing it.”
“Yes.” She replied, “but it was meant to be buried with the rest of him.” –TheLoneleyPython
8.
“An elderly gentleman goes to his doctor for a physical, checked his blood work, heart and lungs, everything looks great! The doctor said he had one more test to perform. He needed the man to go home to collect a sperm sample in this jar to see how his reproductive health is. The old man says no problem with a smile.
The next morning, the man returns and the doctor greets him. He hands the doctor the empty jar. The doc asked what happened?
The old man begins “You see, I came home, and first tried with my right hand. And then with my left. I tried with both hands and still nothing… I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, and then both, still nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first teeth in then teeth out… Still nothing. We decided to call over our neighbor, lovely young woman, helps us out time to time. She said she would come over to help. She tries with her right hand, then her left. With both… She tried with her mouth, first teeth in then teeth out, she even stuck it between her knees….”
The doctor cut him off… “YOU ASKED YOUR NEIGHBOR?!” Old man simply responds, “Why yes, None of us could get the jar open!!!” –SoccerGamerGuy7
9.
“What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and re-sell it.” –Cooler67
10.
“What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.” –FatsP
