Four Loko Seltzer is now a thing.
You can measure your maturity level by the number of days since you drank a Four Loko. Four Loko is an alcoholic drink with high caffeine levels that caused a cultural panic almost a decade ago, because it was basically poison.
Many a house party ended in horror after someone showed up with a few Four Lokos wrapped in a brown paper bag. It’s the drink you go for when you don’t have much cash and even less pride, but a stomach of iron.
And not it looks like a bunch of people are about to hit the reset button on personal growth and go back to the Loko.
The brand just announced a new Four Loko seltzer, jumping on the trend of alcoholic fizzy drinks that have recently had a surge in popularity.
No big deal, except Four Loko is back on its bullsh*t. Four Loko seltzers have an ABV of 14%.
For comparison, their rival White Claw seltzer is 5 percent alcohol.
and I OOP- pic.twitter.com/weunHyIMfm
— Four Loko (@fourloko) August 14, 2019
Got Four Loko trending in the U.S.pic.twitter.com/muKbAujyMB
— Four Loko (@fourloko) August 14, 2019
The news has Four Loko trending on Twitter again as people discuss exactly how much of their first can of Four Loko Sour Seltzer they’ll get through before either dying or marrying a dog. This isn’t how I want to go out, but summer is almost over. You gotta live while the Four Loko is cold.
1.
No one:
Four Loko: heard yall wanted to die https://t.co/5TPCrKRxDD
— lobbyist for dogs (@ddogyearss) August 14, 2019
2.
me seeing that Four Loko now has hard seltzer with FOURTEEN PERCENT alcohol pic.twitter.com/MNSwI4RAlJ
— allison (@notblueperson) August 14, 2019
3.
Me buying and drinking the four loko seltzer’s simply because they’re 14% alcohol pic.twitter.com/x5lsfaeBqW
— Huner With the Twelve Days of Christmas (@hrobi36) August 14, 2019
4.
If you drink the new four loko seltzer all the memories that were wiped from drinking original four loko come rushing back
— Topshelf Tyson (@topshelftyson) August 14, 2019
5.
drinking White Claw v. drinking Four Loko seltzer pic.twitter.com/SADTZcH4YJ
— pwnteam (@pwnteam) August 14, 2019
6.
No one:
Four Loko: Ya’ll want to see a dead body?
— Daejuan Jacobs (@fractalcomic) August 14, 2019
7.
https://twitter.com/Kofie/status/1161422368750866433
8.
white claw: “only 100 calories and 5% ABV hehe girls night!”
four loko seltzer: “14% who’s ready to die”
— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) August 14, 2019
9.
Four Loko coming out with a seltzer is like your toxic ex becoming hot and guess who’s crawling back baby
— salad (@defnotsally) August 14, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/Frrrranko/status/1161467234851553285
11.
My Brain Cells when i reintroduce Four Loko into my diet pic.twitter.com/AYbpfBfQSs
— Roc (@hardROClife) August 14, 2019
12.
https://twitter.com/SpenserHarvey/status/1161468660633997313
13.
accidentally mixed McDonalds Sprite and the Four Loko seltzer and now my name is
K̶̛̭̺̅̊̂̅̏͜Y̷̢̦͇̥͙͈̱̏͆͌́͂L̶̘̠̺̦̩̝̩̦̻͌̋Ë̶̥̺̺́
— Kellen (@captainkalvis) August 14, 2019