It’s that time of the week again where the week is fucking OVER.
Do you know what that means? It means it’s time to GET WRECKED on some White Claws!
It’s also time for you to sit back and scroll through some hilarious tweets from women who are themselves hilarious. What a lucky person you are right now! Now go ahead and get through this list, you’ll thank me later.
1.
https://twitter.com/_dlew32/status/1122946709628313601
2.
I made a meme about punctuation pic.twitter.com/2Dy2qGR3D2
— Clare Costello (@cemcostello) October 24, 2018
3.
A short film titled “Pretending to fix my hair in the bathroom mirror for a really long time because I’m waiting for someone to leave so I can take my big shit” pic.twitter.com/gyYlM1rsWH
— Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) August 1, 2019
4.
our internet isn’t connected yet and my husband owns 3 DVDs: 28 Days Later, the Matrix and season 5 of the Simpsons. I feel like I’m in a college guy’s ‘take 3 things’ desert island answer
— Lucy Valentine (@LucyXIV) July 31, 2019
5.
My kink is watching men saunter into female-dominated workout classes thinking they’re in for a relaxing hour, then dying on top of their 7.5 pound weights when they realizes women are strong as f*ck.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) July 29, 2019
6.
Witnessed the best party exit of my life yesterday: an adult told the six-year-old, “I like your unicorn backpack.” The girl paused on the steps and, without even casting a backwards glance, said, “Maybe you can get one someday.” Then she disappeared through the doggy door
— Brit Bennett (@britrbennett) July 28, 2019
7.
I knew a guy who got his mouth stuck on a doorknob cause he wanted to prove he could suck a dick that big. He’s a cop now. pic.twitter.com/5RlHPPFfTV
— Community College Dropout Lauren Hough (@laurenthehough) July 28, 2019
8.
All of my tattoos are meaningful. They mean I’m fucking sick.
— genesis (@kornrare) July 30, 2019
9.
me: y’all fr be catering to grown ass men??? smh
my bf: my neck hurts I think I slept on it funny
me: pic.twitter.com/GDVQsdcTlE
— RUBY (@rubysoleiI) July 30, 2019
10.
Sex is good but have you ever gotten a dm from someone saying your ex was so bad at DJ-ing he is no longer allowed back in the establishment?
— Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) August 1, 2019
11.
When someone unworthy of you wants to smash pic.twitter.com/Nbv88moSVH
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) August 2, 2019
12.
HOW has this just happened?!?!??!!? pic.twitter.com/lSJJqQmNik
— Cez👁 (@HardyCerys) April 30, 2019
13.
The urgent care doctor who couldn't do anything for my tooth hurting said, "Go ahead and take a prescription amount of Advil, that's 4." I said, "I take 4 Advil at a time when I'm not in pain."
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 31, 2019
14.
You ever throw me into a pool, im dying off principal. Have fun with that murder charge pic.twitter.com/rdhDygqSH2
— lil ze$sst (@Seoul_Calibur) July 28, 2019
15.
Vibrator died so you know what i have to do
https://t.co/PUgf8YmXAS— moo moo mi-stletoe (@revelacaa) July 30, 2019