Nurses Share The “Weirdest Things” Patients Coming Out Of Anesthesia Have Said (20 Stories)

11. 

“A 15yo was waking up and talking more…and trying to get out of bed before he was ready. ‘Bud, where are you going?’ ‘I’ve got to go to my locker.’ ‘Buddy, you’re in the hospital. You can’t go to your locker right now. So where are you trying to go?’ serious expression ‘…the future.'” — Cavefishy

12. 

“I once told the nurses to stop I wasn’t asleep yet. I wasn’t ready. They laughed and said they were done. Another time I came out saying sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. Almond joy has nuts mounds don’t. No clue why I was singing this but the nurses thought I was hilarious and let family know this happened.” — Im2lazytobeoriginal

13. 

“I came out of it in the middle of a conversation with Gandalf. I was trying to sell him Tupperware.” — questionable_post

14. 

“Not a nurse but I had dental surgery at a hospital in Bangkok a few years ago. I had pretty much come out of anesthesia and was just waiting for the doctor and discharge stuff. There was this giant Aussie guy also in recovery and he kept trying to sneak away! Like he’d look around, grab his IV pole, and tip toe toward the exit. The nurses were just kind of herding him around the room back to his bed. Then he’d do the same thing again! The nurse with me asked if I wanted the curtains closed and I was like hell no! I just had major oral surgery and this is funny! So she and I sat there for nearly twenty minutes watching his shenanigans. Nurses have patience like saints, I swear.” — csb7566381

15. 

“When I was in high school I was just getting put under and feeling loopy for a wisdom teeth operation and the nurse was making small talk with me and told me she graduated from the same high school I went to and was on the dance team and I told her, ‘No you weren’t, you have to be pretty to be on the dance team’ right before blacking out. I think about this sometimes before I go to sleep at night nurse I am so sorry to do you like that when you were just doing your job.” — BitchIDontWorkHere

16. 

“A friend of mine woke up after surgery and stated, ‘I want to eat a Christmas tree.'” — Lunch_Gun

17. 

“Not a nurse…My wife woke up from a surgery and started pointing into the middle of the room and in a soft voice said ‘f*** you, f*** you and you. Whats that smell?’ she then looked over at me and says, ‘when did you get here yah a**hat’ LOL She doesn’t cuss much, so I got a good laugh out of it.'” — Lasersandshit

18. 

“Not a nurse, but my twin sister started speaking fluent Spanish to my mom after she woke up from getting her wisdom teeth removed. We’re half Puerto Rican (on our mom’s side), so we’ve grown up hearing Spanish, but neither of us had ever carried a fluent conversation with her in it. But apparently my doped up sister could!” — creepiest-greek-myth

19. 

“When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I apparently had a religious experience (I’m agnostic). I told my mom (who was with me) that I saw people walking on water. Next, I kept telling her that I saw Jesus. Apparently, when the female nurse came back into the room I did the Catholic sign of the cross and whispered to my mom, ‘That’s him. That’s Jesus.’ The nurse lost her shit.” — KaseyRae_

20. 

“Also not a nurse, but I had ankle surgery last year. They gave me animal crackers after and I remember being really upset that I didn’t realize until the last cracker that I forgot to look at the animals and appreciate each one.” — SJ2390

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Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.