Dan Wilbur
America is having a rough week. We are “going through it” as the kids say. Do the kids say that? It doesn’t matter. It’s not the kids’ turn to speak. It’s time for 30 or 60-somethings to have their say about election fraud. No, they’re not saying it with words, necessarily. They’re saying it through sedition.
Last week, a bunch of morons threw a party inside the Capitol building in Washington DC. Well, it was supposed to be an overnight sit-in to stop the certification of the Electoral College. Instead, everyone treated it like a college prank. Like they were throwing TP at the girls’ dorm instead of, you know, looting a federal building.
They were all smiles on Wednesday. Today, not so much. The people who looked to camera and said their full name before committing acts of treason were shocked to find out that the FBI has access to those public videos.
Here are a few people from the Capitol riot having the roughest of weeks in “How it started vs. How it’s going” memes:
1. Doug Jensen from Des Moines started by intimidating a cop on video, now fired from his job and facing criminal charges.
How it started: giving the ol’ “come at me bro” to a cop just trying to do his job. Also sporting a QAnon shirt. How it’s going: he’s probably going to jail.
2. This guy started his day thinking he might take hostages, the ended up a hostage of the police.
How it started: rioting with his mom (true story. That’s his mom with him).
But wait… there’s more! “The Zip Tie Guy” was recently fired from – you guessed it – Kid Rock’s restaurant. So I guess it started bad and then got worse.
3. This man lost his job.
How it started…
How it’s going…
5. The three-act structure shown in these tweets about yet another fun day ruined by the FBI.
First, we partied…
Then, the party was shut down…
Now, we no longer exist.
6. Florida man steals podium, arrested on a federal warrant.
Well, it looked like it was fun at the time.
7. Guy who wrote “dunno if they’ll send me to jail” get straight up tossed in jail.
How it started…
LOL. How it’s going…
7. Richard Barnett was proud to be photographed in Nancy Pelosi’s chair. He’s probably going to do time.
8. Melody Marie Black can’t fly home after being featured in a video saying “I’m Melody Marie Black” and I approve this riot (more or less).
9. Albama mob leader William Watson had a great time at the protest but looks bummed in his mug shot.
10. The Shaman Guy will face justice.
How it started…
How it’s going…
11. Pro tip: don’t film yourself doing illegal stuff. Especially if you’re an elected official.
You will get recognized. This guy is a newly-elected lawmaker in West Virginia. He is one of seven elected officials caught in the riot.
12. Even Senators got in on the action.
How it started…
How it’s going…
Writing a book is way harder than staging a coup. I think he dodged a bullet here.
13. One day we’ll look back on this and still be angry.
