Muhammed Nitoto runs an account called Chronicles of Daddy, in which he shares stories about the challenges facing dads. There are certainly plenty of mommy blogs, so lots of people have found Nitoto’s account as a counter-balance. He has over 66 thousand followers. A recent post attracted a lot of comments because it brought up a long-standing issue that doesn’t seem to have much headway towards a solution. The post showed a picture of a dad holding his infant daughter, apparently entering a woman’s restroom in public.
“I TAKE MY DAUGHTER TO THE GIRLS BATHROOM!” the long caption starts.
“As a dad being out with daughters I never thought the bathroom would become as big as a issue as it is,” he continues. “Usually we would go places and they have FAMILY bathroom which are meant for people with children but what I found was most places don’t have them and Dads are left to decide between taking their daughters to the men’s bathroom or the women’s.”
He says that at first, he brought his daughter into the men’s room, but after one try at that he never did it again:
Now I’ve been to a men’s bathroom millions of times but walking in with your daughter makes you look at it completely different. Men’s bathrooms are DISGUSTING. They smell like pee and nothing is setup for a woman or a person with a child. The changing table was right next to the urinal which means my child literally would be next to where men pee which she’s being charged.
That one experience was enough to make him use the women’s room whenever a family restroom wasn’t an option.
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He has a system for entering to be careful around the other people depending on this restroom.
“I try to be as respectful to women as I can while doing so which consists of knocking on the door before entering and announcing myself,” he says. “Making sure if someone is inside that they know I am a Dad coming in with his daughter and making sure they are comfortable with that. Now once inside our stall I still am aware of the door and whenever I hear it open and someone new is coming in I announce myself again and make sure they know I’m inside with my child so that they aren’t surprised. ”
In a women’s restroom, he has found that the changing table is usually in a stall and much, much cleaner. “As a girl dad I can’t help but want to protect my daughter’s from all things that aren’t for them and the men’s bathroom is 100% one of those things,” he concluded. “Am I the only one? Ladies, how does this make you feel?”
The responses are overwhelmingly positive. Some people had never considered the issue at all and were glad to get some perspective. Other men wrote to say they’d had the same problem.
The most important comment might be that this shouldn’t be an individual solution, and bathrooms should be designed with the assumption that any parent needs a clean safe place to change their child. That way no one has to throw a parade every time they enter a bathroom.