Writer Jill Filipovic has a big following online and has written several books, so I’m pretty surprised she didn’t expect to get so much smoke over her extremely controversial opinion about how to feed children. As far as I can tell, no one asked her to share this opinion and it relates to nothing that was trending, yet she went ahead and tweeted it out for everyone to read.
“I know the thing parents hate most is when non-parents assert what they will do as parents which is inevitably smug and incorrect,” she wrote. “but I am 100% sure I will never assent to a ‘kid’s menu’ or the concept of ‘kid food.'”
How can a tweet be so self-aware and so un-self-aware at the same time?
From her statement, it seems Filipovic does not have children of her own. She seems to fully understand that no one without children really knows what it takes to care for them, and that those people frequently say smug, wrong things. Then she goes on to say something smug and wrong.
Even if she weren’t wrong, she should know that parents are amongst the most hair-trigger groups on the Internet. They will come for your neck if you even imply they could all be doing something better or different. Maybe it’s because they’re so tired from child-rearing, but they’re not interested in nuanced conversation, they’re interested screaming at you online. Which is exactly what happened:
Oh my god, yes! So SO humbling! My husband and I (both teachers) knew EXACTLY how we’d parent our kids—and then we *met* them. We spent YEARS apologizing to anyone we’d ever spoken to on the subject. 😁
— K DeWitz 🟧 (@pdxkren) September 25, 2020
It’s hard to find anything that ALL parents agree on, but I think all parents may agree this is the worst take https://t.co/5wRcsgVhtn
— Sara Mauskopf (@sm) September 25, 2020
This was my exact thought — the kid meal items are cheap and include a drink. You can usually request veggies or fruit as a side. Hoping to pay kid prices as long as I can 😂🙌🏼
— Jenny Barber Valois (@Inspiredlawyer) September 25, 2020
Her "assent" to reality is meaningless. Kid's menus exist. Her decision to order from it or not, doesn't change that reality.
— bdpatterson (@bdpatterson2) September 25, 2020
I too like my doggie bag to weigh more than my child https://t.co/5ZjrSpgS13
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) September 25, 2020
I like you and your writing but this will definitely be something you laugh at in the future
— Meghan McCarthy (@MeghanMcCarthy_) September 25, 2020
Yes, this is the naive view of a non-parent. We’ve all been there, so it’s cool.
— @ijbailey (@ijbailey) September 25, 2020
i know i am not a pilot, and non-pilots often come of as smug, but i am 100% sure if i was a pilot, i would never assent to using “wheels” or the concept of “landing gear”
— the gormless jawbee (@cia_swapmeet) September 25, 2020
Lmao this was a personal attack!!
— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) September 25, 2020
Dangerous thoughts, Cara. From birth we’ve had our daughter sleep in a king bed, dress only in adult clothing, and drive herself to daycare. I know it sounds dangerous, but it’s a Toyota Camry; they practically drive themselves. A few phone books and she’s sound as a pound.
— Will Hobson (@TheWillHobson) September 25, 2020
jill's toddler choking on a whole grape because she refused to cut it in half https://t.co/ivVBtEU2wo
— katy (@itsbedtime_) September 25, 2020
packing my kids steak tartar for lunch 😤 https://t.co/mWRVzbK1KB
— Astead (@AsteadWH) September 25, 2020
We have a two year-old foster child, and every dinner is a battle with him. Sometimes we cave, and get him chicken nuggets and fries, and then he refuses to eat the nuggets just to prove we are his bitch.
— Ryan Carnahan | FDT (@NoMoreBS2017) September 25, 2020
Precisely. Many restaurants “kids menus” are about portion control. I guess if you’re flush enough that you don’t care about dropping $25 on a restaurant burger for a kid that will eat a 1/5th of the bun and two fries, you can afford to have dumbshit opinions about kids meals.
— Incoherent Grab Bag of Grievances (@dougpasnak) September 25, 2020
This was my exact thought — the kid meal items are cheap and include a drink. You can usually request veggies or fruit as a side. Hoping to pay kid prices as long as I can 😂🙌🏼
— Jenny Barber Valois (@Inspiredlawyer) September 25, 2020
Sure, Jill. Go ahead and buy your kid a $15 meal they’ll eat less than half of, even if they like it. https://t.co/GGRdkqrccD
— Big Friendly Gritter (@jtimm684) September 25, 2020
Ordering your kid the $18.99 adult salmon entree doesn't make you a hero, Jill. https://t.co/cFHd7lqzCN
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) September 25, 2020
There were some people who defended this take, mostly saying that they grew up in households where it was normal to eat the same things as adults were eating:
“Paying $4.99 for a saucer of Kraft mac is good, actually” is a take I didn’t expect to see all over my TL today.
When I take my kids to a restaurant, I want to feed them the food that the restaurant serves. YMMV. https://t.co/pOTbp7AXdJ
— Ty Schalter (@tyschalter) September 25, 2020
As a refugee kid, I ate the same things my refugee parents ate.Liver, intestine, tongue, heart, gizzard. I never complained. Eating this way built character and made me tough.
My kid gets the kids’ menu. https://t.co/W2vAehlUL5
— viet CALL ME DR. nguyen (@viet_t_nguyen) September 25, 2020
Best doctor advice we got was “feed the kid what you eat.” Never had to make a special meal just for The Kid.
— Nayyera (@nayyeroar) September 25, 2020
But is eating at home the same thing as going to a restaurant? And even at home, a child is more likely to get a less spicy dish or smaller portions, or more carbs. They’re not little adults, no matter how you choose to treat them.
Though she wasn’t expecting to be quote-tweeted so hard, Filipovic seems to find the backlash funny, and is glad it’s at least bringing people together:
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) September 25, 2020
ha. this take, however, is spot on. thank you!
— Rob Birgfeld (@robbirgfeld) September 25, 2020
Parents, united.