Ruin My Week
Children have many faces.
Cute and sweet are certainly two of them.
But then there’s destructively adorable…
And then there’s destructively innocent…
And of course, uber dramatic…
But let’s talk about how absolutely off-the-wall creepy kids can be:
Some people believe kids are perceptive to things beyond what adults can sense, like ghosts or spirits.
Personally, I think kids have such a strange sense of reality and are so impressionable that a new idea can quickly balloon into an alternate universe. They make up weird stories that sound convincing because they believe them.
That’s what I thought until I read this creepy-as-heck thread started by writer Barlow Adams, who shared a story their nine-year-old told them about a woman with no skin on her hands called the Lullaby Lady. Good. God.
9: Can I sleep with you?
Me: Why?
9: Had a dream about the Lullaby Lady.
M: Who?
9: An old woman with no skin on her hands.
M: Why do you call her that?
9: Because she stands next to your bed and hums while you sleep.
M: Sure, just let Daddy put the house up for sale real quick.— Barlow Adams (@BarlowAdams) February 29, 2020
The thread soon went viral with replies from people whose kids have similarly made them want to burn the house down then douse the embers with holy water. Before we get into that, I want to share this comment from a Twitter user who claims she ALSO SAW THE LULLABY LADY AS A KID:
YOU’RE JOKING PLS SAY UR JOKING RN
— Hans⁷ (@hantam97) March 1, 2020
I am 100% not joking. My mom had a priest come bless our house and everything.
— Alana Duran (@CeraphimFalls) March 1, 2020
Thanks, I hate it. Read the best replies of creepy things kids say. It will either convince you ghosts or real or that you never want to have children.
1.
7: I saw a bat in the house last night.
Me: Really, where?
7: It flew in my room and then down the stairs.
Me: Wow, were you scared?
7: No, it said it wasn’t a problem until it grows its other wings.
Me: Cool, here’s your coat time for a sleepover at Gramma’s forever.— Jon Sawatsky 🐉✏️ (@JonSawatsky) March 1, 2020
2.
My 2yo started talking about a ghost a while ago. Mostly it seems to be an imaginary friend. She plays hide & seek w/ it, talks to it, plays catch w/ it (throws a ball at nothing).
Then one day hubs asked if she wanted to hug it, to which she said: “No! It burn all the toys.”😬
— Katie (@BloggingStaten) February 29, 2020
3.
When my son was 4 he would crawl across the bedroom floor or stand by the bed asking to be let in the bed for cuddles.
He’d speak in Polish to his mum, I’d wake up and see a small shadowy figure whispering strange sounds.
— Richard Kemp (@boredwizard) February 29, 2020
4.
My 5yo: Don’t die mommy
Me: I wasn’t planning on, babe.
My 5yo: It already happened before
Me: ?
5yo: Before you were my mommyALRIGHT SON LET’S JUST GO COLOR OR SOMETHING
— Ashli | Bramblecraft Bonewitch (@Mama_Ghuleh) March 1, 2020
5.
Nawww I ship Lullaby Lady and Pinstriped Suit Man 😍
— Tamara Coombes (@tamaralcoombes) March 1, 2020
6.
My 4yo talks about seeing shadows with fire eyes in the corners of rooms, floating down the hall…standing behind me. Kids are creepy.
— Lauren Brazeal (@laurenbrazeal) February 29, 2020
7.
When I was a kid I imagined there was a witch in the field outside my window who could only come closer if I looked at her, whether I realized I was looking at her or not. I’ve long gotten over that fear, but I still sleep with my back to the window.
— 🐧 Rob Killam (@KillamRob) February 29, 2020
8.
Me: I have to close the curtains or the moon will keep you up.
6 y/o: No, I like the moon. She tells me stories!
Me: Yeah, about what?
6: About when you were a kid like me.
M: That’s funny.
6: The moon’s been watching you your whole life. And she never forgets what you did.— Brian McGee (@Bricobrosse) March 1, 2020
9.
My 3 yo asked if she could get a canopy to protect her from the horned lady. The picture she drew of her was terrifying.
— Carrie Firestone (@CLLFirestone) March 1, 2020
10.
My 6 year old had a princess bed with curtains around it. She used to get really hot in bed so I suggested not drawing the curtains around her. She replied, ‘No, I have to have the curtains drawn then I can’t see the old lady standing next to my bed. I don’t like her watching me’
— Sue Smart (@MrsS_Smart) March 1, 2020
11.
once when my oldest daughter was 2, I was laying with her in bed to get her to go to sleep. After 15 minutes she turns to me and—very matter-of-factly—asks “daddy, who is the man in my closet?”
I calmly say “there’s no one there babe, time for sleep.” And then I died inside ☠️
— see no evil pictures (@seenoevilpix) March 1, 2020
12.
A friend & her husband bought a very old, historical house. They were in the process of restoring it when her then 4 year old told her there was a voice in the ceiling that would speak to her.
— Melissa (@MelissaAnne_78) March 1, 2020
13.
GUUURRRLLLL SAME!!! When my grandpa died we went for his funeral and they made me sleep in his bed because there were nowhere else. And it was my first time “meeting” with my grandpa. They told me i woke up every.fucking.night. and talked with him?? Creepy.
— pikkune 🐣 (@imasmolkitten) March 1, 2020
14.
Family trip to war museum:
6: Dad did you see the man?
Me: What man?
6: The man in the plane.
4: The man with the blood on his face!
Me: *looks around. None of the planes have mannequins in.*
6: Its the blood man!
6,4,2: THE BLOOD MAN THE BLOOD MAN— Stephen Collins (@stephen_collins) March 1, 2020
15.
6-year-old runs out into the hall in the middle of the night.
Me: Hey, hey, what’s the matter?
6 (disoriented and terrified): I don’t like that one.
Me: What one?
6: *points to her room* That one.
Me: What does it look like?
6: You.— Mike Keesey (@tmkeesey) March 1, 2020
16.
When my kid was 3 he told me I had always been his mummy , but the time before he was a girl and I looked different, “but mummy I was me , and you were you , we have always been together “ 😳😍
— Cuppa? (@hayleyhoopla) March 1, 2020
17.
Our oldest would have recurring nightmares about a scary man with one night that comes in her room. We had her draw a picture to see if that would help her get over it. When we looked at the picture, my wife and I seriously considered selling the house and moving that week.
— Jay Jackson (@jjackson) March 1, 2020
18.
When my son was 3 he had an imaginary friend called Mr Nobody who had chicken skin for hair 😳
— Ali Freyne (@GoodnaturedLiar) March 1, 2020
19.
When my daughter was 3 or 4 she had a group of imaginary children. I thought it was quite amusing. One day she said, “Do you know what my children call me?……They call me The Cloth Keeper” I have no idea what that meant but I no longer found it amusing 😬
— Susan R (@soozyray) March 1, 2020
20.
Threw the covers over his head, but the guy lifted the covers up at the foot of the bed to look at him again. Then, he disappeared when kiddo screamed and the covers fell. I’ve always wondered…
— coquihalla (@coquihallan) March 1, 2020
21.
My oldest son at 3 told us a man with bleeding eyes was trying to put blood in his mouth, that he came from the tree out front, at our old house.
Freaking terrifying 😱— Sophia 💟 (@sophiaoswalt) March 1, 2020
22.
When my youngest was 2ish she kept telling me about the couple who stood outside her window watched her sleep.We panicked that someone was at her window.Then going through boxes from storage she held up a picture of my grandparents.They died before she was born.She never met them
— Elizabeth Silverthorne (@Elizabe99207364) March 1, 2020
23.
When my youngest was 2ish she kept telling me about the couple who stood outside her window watched her sleep.We panicked that someone was at her window.Then going through boxes from storage she held up a picture of my grandparents.They died before she was born.She never met them
— Elizabeth Silverthorne (@Elizabe99207364) March 1, 2020
24.
My youngest when 2 talking about man in our house and pointing to him for days. Did cleansing because – terrified. Driving out of garage. The man’s here mummy. You said he was gone now. Yes from home. But he’s sitting next to me in the car. Stop car, everyone out!
— lucy marx (@lucymarxx) March 1, 2020
25.
My middle child when he was about 2 would say I’m not his mum, his mum was the dark lady in the garden. He’d also ask to go to his proper home. Now he’s older he had a fear of being lost and of forgetting what it’s like to be him, as if that’s what happened before!😱
— Claire McDonnell (@ClaireEMcD) March 1, 2020
26.
My youngest told me once she can tell how long people have been dead by looking at them.
— Sian Ink (@sian_ink) March 1, 2020
27.
My nephew (4 at the time) asked my sister whether or not his great-grandmother was dead.
When my sister replied “yes, she is in Heaven”, he corrected her, saying “No, she’s not. I see her.”— Geraldine👑 (@ger_carey7) March 1, 2020
28.
My 3 year old had a meltdown about ghosts so I was trying to assure her there were no ghosts in our house. We’re the second family in this house and no one died in it far as we know. I say there’s no ghosts, she says “ghost right there” and points to my empty hallway. 💩👻☠️nuke
— Skyla Rose Beranich (@skyberfire) March 1, 2020
29.
My Gran took me to a relative’s house in Canada. I was 5.
Me: I’ve always liked going to this house
Gran: You’ve never been to this house
Me: (Pointing) There was a man in a box under that window.
-Gran’s BIL was laid out before his burial under that window 10 years earlier.— Lisa B. (@politeracy) March 1, 2020
