As a former teacher and someone who has a lot of teacher friends, I’ve honestly been appalled at just how badly some parents can behave.
Especially with the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve watched my friends scramble to do the best they can for their students in impossible situations—and come up against ignorant and entitled parents.
So, pardon me if I can’t get on board with this particular Redditor’s complaints about the quality of the education her son is receiving.
The OP is ageist, unhelpful, and just plain annoying. I’m sure her son’s teacher is looking forward to the day she no longer has to deal with her.
“My son is in fifth grade and he is attending online school. I catch him all the time with his computer muted and playing a video game—I do what I can but ultimately this is the teacher’s fault. My son has ADHD and anxiety so he needs constant stimuli in order to stay focused, and this teacher is clearly not engaging enough,” the OP begins.
Yeah, it’s a struggle to attend online school. Everyone is trying to adjust, including teachers who are putting in extra hours without extra pay. But yeah, students are having a hard time.
But instead of figuring out how to help the situation, the OP just throws her hands up.
“The teacher, in my opinion, is not old enough to be trusted with the responsibility of teaching. She looks like she’s in her 20s. I have reached out to her multiple times and she’s only told me to check in on him, keep him on track, etc. but I do all of that and he still seems to be failing. She asked if I would like to take time out of my schedule to come up with a plan, to which I responded she should be doing her job and coming up with a plan on her own. I am quite out of patience with this teacher.”
I mean, have you met teachers? A lot of them are in their 20s because that is a common age to start one’s teaching career. And what this teacher says makes sense—she can only do so much from a completely different physical environment, and I am sure she has taken time out of her schedule to make the distance learning experience as engaging as it can be.
The OP keeps harassing this teacher, and she received a “rude” email reading:
“I am tired of receiving emails from you regarding this. I have tried telling you this politely but the message hasn’t seemed to get to you: this is your issue. I cannot do anything when he mutes his microphone, and he is failing because he does not pay attention in class and turns in less than half of his work, most of which is incomplete anyway. I have reached out to you with solutions, and you have refused to cooperate. You need to take control in your own home and put a stop to this behavior, because I can only do so much.”
“She was judging my ability as a parent when she is clearly not a parent herself. I was at the absolute end of my rope with her, and I wrote an email to the principal explaining what had happened. He responded and said he’d look into the matter. AITA for doing this? My husband tells me that I’m making too much of an issue out of this, but he doesn’t understand — he isn’t home during the school day.”
Lady, you sure are an A-hole.
“OP it is your responsibility to make sure your son isn’t playing games during school, is participating in class, and is doing his work. How in the world do you expect his teacher to make sure he’s doing all of this when she’s not in your home? You are putting all of the responsibility on her and pointing the finger at her for him failing instead of pointing the finger at yourself. He’s failing because you are allowing him to do whatever he wants. Having a special needs child isn’t easy, but it’s your job as his Mom to make sure he’s doing his schoolwork,” said WeeklyConversation8.
“YTA. Here’s why. Your home, your rules. Teachers have enough to deal with then to babysit OP’s kiddo. My bonus son is very similar: 5th grade, easily distracted, more interested in Fortnite and Among Us, and smart enough to know how to work the system so we don’t notice. What did we do? If we catch him off task and not on the classroom screen, he loses tech for the rest of the day. If it’s habitual, he can no longer do school in his unmonitored bedroom. To the dining room table he goes with no privacy, so I can walk by to see how he’s doing at any time (I work remotely even before COVID, and his Dad is a teacher in the classroom right now). School tech is just for school tech. Using a laptop/chromebook? Remove the games from it! This shows a clear delineation between school time and fun time to the kiddo. We utilize the internet provider’s mobile app to create user profiles and attach different tech (MAC address based) to the profile. The kiddos have their school laptops on the School profile that has WiFi on from 7:30am-4pm. Their Rokus, iPhones, iPads, and Nintendo Switches are on their own profile with WiFi turned off between bedtime and 4pm (they are dark during sleep, school, and homework time). When my daughter, who has a mobile data plan, was getting distracted by her phone, I made her give it to me during the school day (turning off WiFi isn’t effective when a data plan is present). When she showed better restraint, she got her phone back during school. We started this school year knowing it would be a s**t show, so we set up the home learning environment to closely match the classroom. They don’t have video games at school, so they won’t at home during school. We even make their lunches in lunchboxes for the day, so they can have lunch on their schedule, just like school, in case I’m on a work call during the three different student lunch times going on in our home,” helpfully outlined carr1e.
“I’m 28. I have been a teacher since I was 21. A teacher in their twenties has usually been teaching since 21/22, not including student teaching. Are they the most experienced in the world? No. But they are educated professionals who understand their jobs. I’ve taught kids with ADHD and other special needs. Virtual learning is going to be incredibly difficult for them. It is entirely up to the family to keep a student on track during these times. We can prepare lessons. We can give assignments. But we can’t force a student to participate the way we do in person. We don’t have the means. I know this is hard on our students and families, but we are literally doing everything we can. Learning right now has to be a partnership,” explained cuentaderana.
“YTA – As someone who suffered from ADHD as a child, if there is no one present to have kept my attention… It was a struggle to not lapse into bad behaviour. Classwork was always easier for me than say homework because it was engaging and I had someone present to keep me on task. If I had the option of hitting mute on my teacher in class and doing something fun? You bet your ass I would have lol. Your child needs your help. Your teacher can’t do much to correct his behaviour in anyway that he seems to care about. There are computer programs and parental controls that will lockout certain programs and websites at certain times. If that doesn’t work…well you are the parent, you should be the one to teach your child that their actions and inactions have consequences,” said Trivieum88.
“Everyone’s suffering from struggling with school at home. You owe this teacher a major apology and at bare minimum, figure something out and work on your child. Adhd and anxiety are roadblocks not excuses and free passes to blame someone else. It means extra attention is needed to support at home and extra support may be needed at school with appropriate approvals and a plan. God OP you’re the worst kind of AH,” said S3xySouthernB.
If you have any friends who are teachers, right now would be a great time to send them a text message saying you appreciate the hell out of them.
Lead image: Pexels.
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