In a Reddit AITA (Am I The A-hole) post, a woman presents a weird situation in which her boyfriends get a little weird about coming with her to the gyno, of all places. Get ready for this one!
As the OP explained, she thinks of her gynecologist visit as a dude-free zone. Fair enough, right? She’s entitled to that feeling, even if others don’t share the same perspective.
She writes, “Basically, my boyfriend wanted to accompany me to my OBGYN visit, I told him that I don’t like when there are men present in the waiting room and that there’s almost never any men there as other women seem to share this feeling. I consider the OBGYN to be something of a safe female space.”
OP’s boyfriend started giving her a hard time about it when he found out that her doctor was a man:
“It just never came up before. There wasn’t ever a reason to discuss the genders of my various doctors. My boyfriend got angry and reminded me how I told him that the OBGYN office is a female space for me and how hypocritical that is given that my doctor is a man. My boyfriend told me that I’m being ridiculous if a man sitting in the waiting room makes me uncomfortable but having another man rummage around in my crotch is okay (his phrasing).”
She continues, “Am I the a—hole for not telling my BF that my doctor is male? Especially given the context when I told my bf I don’t want him to accompany me and make other women feel awkward.”
This particular AITA post set Reddit on fire. Obviously, there were a LOT of “NTA” (Not The A-hole) responses. Like this, which we fully stand by;
The whole entire idea of not mentioning the gender of your doctor sounds like the dude’s problem and not the OP’s issue.
But a lot of people got stuck on the gyno-as-safe-space comment (which we think is very fair). “Hey, I’m a husband and I totally go to the gyno” or “I bring my boyfriend to the gyno” comments were in abundance.
Naturally, some weirdos say the OP was “policing” the waiting room, which seems…blown out of proportion.
But it’s still strange to want to go to a random check-up when your partner isn’t pregnant. Does he accompany her to the dentist, we wonder?
People even accused the OP of making the post up. But the reality is, the OP feels uncomfortable — and that’s what matters.
Toxic masculinity, anyone?
One comment reminded us that, actually, men do go the OBGYN, often because they have vaginas. A good point.
In the end, and no matter what, the point isn’t that men should be allowed in waiting rooms—it’s that the boyfriend feels entitled to go and jealous of a male doctor. NTA.
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