Reddit’s Am I The Assh*le (AITA) subreddit continues to be a valuable resource for a-holes to voluntarily get called out on their asshole behavior, and this latest story is no exception.
Reddit user oliverdefreg—in an obvious throwaway account, created solely for the purposes of the post—asked the question: “AITA for drunkenly proposing to my girlfriend at my best friend’s wedding reception?”
Now, most of us would probably be inclined to answer, “why yes, yes you are” without reading further. But Oliver, as we’ll call him, felt so inclined to dig himself an even deeper hole.
As he explains, Oliver was the best man at his childhood best friend’s wedding about four months prior—just before the start of lockdown. He writes that he had never been to a wedding before (later adding that at 22, the couple was the first of his friends to get married) and that he had “a great time” and it was “amazing” to see his friend walk down the aisle.
It would appear that Oliver perhaps had too great of a time, as he proceeded to drink away his nerves at having to deliver a speech at some point in the day.
At this point, Oliver explains that he and his girlfriend had been together for about three years, and that they were deciding to wait to get married. He also added that she had “been through a lot recently.”
As to what happened next, well—we’ll just let him tell it:
“The wedding reception rolls around, I make my speech, I take advantage of the open bar. My girlfriend was also in the brides wedding party so she was off with her friends most of the day. It got to 10 p.m. and I was pretty drunk, so my girlfriend found me and took me outside to have some fresh air. Whilst we were there we had a super amazing deep chat about life, and I thought to myself, why not, let’s propose. It was outside but we were still in eye-view of everyone in the reception, and a few people were already looking to make sure I was OK as they knew how drunk I was.
I proposed expecting her to be overjoyed but instead, she started crying and ran inside. My best friend came over and asked what the f*ck I thought I was doing, [by] proposing at his wedding. His new wife was [also] pissed because instead of enjoying her wedding she was now having to console my girlfriend who was pissed off that I’d even thought of proposing whilst drunk.”
Oliver concluded his post by admitting that his girlfriend decided that they needed to take a break and that the majority of his friends aren’t speaking to him. “But I was drunk and I do love my girlfriend,” he adds. “AITA?”
We can maybe cut the guy some slack considering that he is only 22-years-old, but unfortunately for him, Reddit was in staunch agreement that he was indeed the asshole—or, “YTA,” as you can see from some of the comments.
YTA. You can’t use “because I was drunk” as an excuse for your actions. Also, your GF had told you she’s not ready, why put her on the spot at someone else’s wedding?
YTA don’t propose at someone’s event and don’t propose when you are drunk
Jesus Christ.
YTA. Firstly for getting so plastered at your best friend’s wedding reception that (actual adults, unlike you) had to fucking babysit you and secondly for being so self-centered that you thought for even half a second that a surprise proposal at somebody else’s wedding while blitzed out of your mind could possibly have a positive outcome.
YTA. God what a lazy proposal, plus how inconsiderate to your friends. And instead of taking responsibility for your selfishness, you’re pinning it on being drunk. So immature. I hope your gf reconsiders marrying you.
YTA. From literally every angle.
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is always wrong. They didn’t spend thousands to be upstaged. But that’s not even the worst part.
You and your (ex?) gf had specifically discussed waiting because she had been through a lot lately. But somehow you think it’s ok that you decided on her behalf that whatever was going on with her didn’t matter anymore?
“I was drunk” is the worst excuse in the book. And it sounds like you haven’t apologized or expressed remorse of any kind, and now see yourself as a victim.
One user also pointed out that his girlfriend is also an assh*le for crying to the poor bride, who had already had her big day ruined.
I need to point out the GF is also an asshole for crying to the bride. If you need to cry at a wedding you need to go find yourself an empty coat room. Taking up the brides attention and time with your drama is unacceptable.
In one follow-up comment, Oliver writes that his girlfriend is barely speaking to him, other than infrequent text messages here and there, but I dunno you guys. It sounds like they might actually be perfect for one another. Maybe these two crazy kids can work it out, after all!