A 35-year-old mom with two kids ended up walking out on her family after a really hard day and people are pretty sympathetic. The kids are two-years-old and four months, which both manage to be difficult ages especially in combination.
She came to r/AmItheA–hole and posted on u/throwawaywife72 with the title, “AITA for walking out on husband and babies?”
She says she’s a stay-at-home-mom and was a pre-school teacher, but it didn’t make sense to go back with the pandemic and the cost of childcare. Her husband works and supports them. She writes that it was his idea to have separate bank accounts and one joint household account; he’s the only one putting money in it for now.
He works from home, 9-5 desk job that isn’t stressful (he admits it’s a “cupcake job”), has weekends and nights off, and takes vacation days. He likes his coworkers and often I hear him joking around on calls to them. I love that he loves his job.
But his joy is starting to put a damper on hers:
The problem is that once he’s done working he’s done with everything. He will occasionally play with the kids or fix himself a sandwich but otherwise he’s playing games or reading or watching something. He works out as well in the home gym but there’s nothing pressing on his time.
Mom, however, never gets much time off. or any at all:
Meanwhile I cook, clean, make toddlers special diet (no dairy or gluten due to allergies), I breast feed on demand, walk and train the dog (love the dog but he’s a Burmese mt dog and poops like a grown man), as well as do all the upkeep/shopping that comes with running a house.
I’m just tired. I’m so tired. And when I ask for help he just stares at me blankly until I go away.
Staring blankly in response to someone asking for help never goes anywhere good and Mom was finally over it:
Yesterday I snapped. The kids were crying, the dog sh*t on the rug (he’s a puppy), and he’s reading his tablet and tells me “babe it smells in here.”
I made sure that there was pumped breast milk and clean bottles, that dog food was out and the toddler had enough food for a few days and I just left.
She says since she left, she texted him about the feeding and sleeping schedule for the kids because she realized that he “has no idea how to keep the kids alive.”
Meanwhile, she booked herself into a hotel for two days and relaxed:
I took a bath! I read a book and watched Netflix and honestly I don’t want to go back. I miss the kiddos a ton, and the dog, but I don’t miss him. His family is calling me nonstop telling me I’m a bad wife/mom and his mother is flying in from Florida since I’m “having some sort of breakdown.” I don’t want her here but I don’t know what to do. I’m just so tired.
The commenters kind of agreed with her mother-in-law: they do think she’s having some sort of mental breakdown. They also don’t think it’s her fault. Her husband has time off, but she never does from her full-time job of being a mom.
The sympathy seems to have gotten to the Mom because she has written in comments that she is calling her therapist. Things have obviously come to a head in her household. She might go back to the house, but she can’t go back to the way things were.
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