While I would hope that all in-laws treat their married-in children as children, it definitely doesn’t seem to happen that way all the time. Instead, you get a lot of parents who treat their new son or daughter as a sort of … third wheel. So it’s of little surprise that feelings and tempers can start to run high.
Take u/AloneInCali___, for example. She explains that her mother-in-law constantly mentions the Redditor’s inability to have kids and excludes both her and her husband from kid-based events. I mean, WOW.
She wound up asking Reddit if she was the assh*le for calling her mother-in-law cruel. I’ll let her explain.
My husband’s (Justin 34) family is big. His brothers and sisters have kids and they’re all sweet and vibrant. My favorite part when I visit my in-laws is playing with the kids (I’m 32 BTW might be a bit embarrassing but I’m a kid at heart) and spending time with them. Justin and I can’t have kids due to infertility on my part which is very devastating for us but we’re blessed we have kids in the family to love on and spend time with.
Now generally, I’m on good with my mother in-law but she always brings up my inability to have kids and so far she’s excluded me and Justin from kid based events. Recently she was gathering pics from her children and grandchildren to make a big family photo album. Thing is she didn’t ask me nor Justin for any photo is, I offered her our photos once and she said something like “maybe later, I’ll left you know before I get done” but she never let me know.
Infact, this week she surprised us by announcing that her family photo album was complete. She had a page with pictures for each of her children and their families. Everyone took turns to look at the album. But once my brother in law handed it to Justin, Justin looked through it quickly then closed it and gave it back to mother in law. I was confused and Justin just got upset but quiet. I asked mother in law to give me the album so I could look at mine and Justin pictures but she said “sorry, there aren’t any photos of you two in there”. I was dumbfounded I asked why and she said since we don’t have kids or haven’t ” started a family yet” then we didn’t qualify to be in the family photo album. I told her just because we don’t have kids doesn’t mean weren’t family to her, and that before she considers non existent grandkids family she should first consider me and Justin family. She just shrugged saying no grandchildren no part in photo album no need to argue since no one can force her to do it. I got real mad and called her cruel for excluding us. Justin told me to take it easy but I had an argument with her and walked out after she told me she doesn’t owe me her time and effort to include me in the album.
We went home feeling awful!. Justin said I shouldn’t have called his mom cruel nor should I dem!and anything from her. I asked if he was fine with what she did he said no but it didn’t make the situation any better, but insulted his mom in her home and acted entitled.
Did I overreact?
Reddit quickly delivered a NTA verdict and pointed out some … truths.
NTA. Since Mil doesn’t consider you or son family, stop going to her house.
NTA. Your fertility business is no ones business but yours and your husbands, but in your shoes the “no grandkids no photo album inclusion” would’ve made me lose my shit and say something along the lines of “I can’t have kids so thanks for making me feel like we’re not worthy of being in this FAMILY album because I’m in the percentage of women who can’t conceive.”
Ugh, that poor woman.
So what do you think? Was her response warranted?