People Are Answering "What's The Worst You've Ever Been 🐓🐓🐓 Blocked?"

Chances are you’ve experienced a situation where you’re so close to getting lucky with someone and then—whoops!—someone steps in to ruin everything.

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Given the close living quarters, hook-up culture, alcohol, and immaturity, this kind of thing usually happens during college, but the truth is it can happen any time.

Redditor u/ninesandaces recently asked:

“What’s the worst you’ve ever been cock blocked/beaver dammed?”

The motives of the blockers range from cluelessness to jealousy to outright spite, but sometimes unlucky circumstances are to blame. It just goes to show that the almighty himself can be the biggest c*ckblocker of them all.

1. To be fair, he’s a professional shot-blocker

I was just chatting with a girl in a nightclub, making jokes, doing well, when Kelly Hrudey (TSN Pundit and retired NHL goalie) literally just stood in between us, just enough room to fit his frame, and said hello to the girl, who looked visibly confused, and turned around and said “yer done” and turned his back to me. I was fairly drunk and half his size, recognized him immediately, so I was a mix of offended and star-struck… I just slinked away. –acdqnz

2. Stole more than a wallet

Back when I was 18 just out of high school, was with this woman who I knew from HS who asked me to go with her back to her place and she was not subtle about it at all.

Friend of mine overheard this and stole her wallet, as if he didn’t score, no one scored. Spent 2hrs looking for the wallet until she rang her sister to take her home.

After he hands me the wallet and winks saying‚ ‘Better luck next time.’

Looking back, probably one of the biggest turning points of my life, as it showed me what kind of person he was. –InternationalBedroom

3. A real drag

I was at a sorority party and this girl I was vibing with takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs to find a private spot. My friend sees this and literally grabs me halfway up the stairs and says, ‘We have to go’ and drags me out of the party.

I was pretty faded and trusted his judgment in the moment. We make it out to the street and I ask him ‘What’s going on?’ He tells me he was ‘saving me’ from hooking up with that girl who he felt was not up to par.

I was so lit I didn’t care and then we proceed to wrestle out on the street as I am trying to go back inside. We never made it back inside the party. –higherfreq

4. Adding insult to injury

I was at a party in college and had a good conversation with a girl a few times in the past and she was at this party.

Whole night we are hanging out, few kisses here and there. General attraction to each other.

We’re playing beer pong and doing well, I put my arm around her waist and she puts her hand in my back pocket while the other team is shooting. I had a condom in the pocket, she pulls it out giggles and says, “We’re gonna need this later.”

Well later came about 30s later when her ex showed up at the party and they left about 20 min later.

30min later I checked my pocket for the condom and it was gone.

She stole the condom I brought, to hook up with her ex.

What a wild ride that was. –OldRuskiNoir

5. Read the room

I was at a party when I was about 19 with some of my high school friends at this house. I think the owner was a friend of a friend. Anyways I start talking to this girl, she’s super into me. We’re talking all night and playing drinking games together and she’s basically attached to my hip. I feel real confident this is going somewhere. Before I could make my move, something happened and a few of my friends got kicked out of the party so we all had to go.

We’re outside the house planning our next move, & the girl came with me, still attached to my hip. One guy in our group, who I didn’t really know that well, was saying he just wanted to go home. He then looked at the girl who was with me and said “hey! can I go with you? yea I’ll get a ride with you. Yo guys! I found a ride!” & the girl looked visibly uncomfortable by how this guy she had no interaction with and didn’t know suddenly decided he was going home with her. She just very awkwardly muttered “I’m gonna go….” & did a 180 turn back to her friends in the party.

The dude didn’t even comprehend what he just did. I was so upset & really stopped hanging out with that dude after that. –pauljohn408

6. Yeah that’ll do it

My girlfriend and I were quietly trying to get it going one night and my roommate’s boyfriend decided to leave his laptop loudly playing the sound of a baby crying outside my bedroom to shut off our libidos. I’m still fairly certain this is because he and my roommate weren’t having sex yet and it was his way of taking it out on us. –LobsterNixon

7. Some friend

Me as an 18-year-old near as damnit virgin playing D&D with my group of friends aged 18-23.

I started to get on REALLY well with his 23-year-old single neighbour who was part of the gaming group. After a few gaming sessions she got cold on me and the insecure me just passed it off as another rejection.

A few years later my best mate who was the Dungeon Master told me he’d warned her off me as she would have eaten me alive and I didn’t deserve that.

DAMNIT I WANTED TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY HER.

Worst ever cock block ever and I’m 50 now. –GabberZZ

8. Double trouble

Met this girl at a wedding. We were both in the wedding party. Started talking to her at a bar we went to after the rehearsal dinner. Was about to ask her for her number when her twin brother came over and stood with us for the rest of the night. –potato_759

9. Blocked nooner

On a lunch break in high school and a girl who I had been flirting with quite a bit asked where I was going for lunch and I responded “my place.” She then gave me a look and asked if she could join. We were just getting into the parking lot when a friend saw and ran over to ask if he could come. I felt awkward about the whole thing so said sure. He then yelled shotgun to sit next to me on the drive to my place. I then proceeded to make them both grilled cheese and soup. Very disappointing lunch break. –tkeny1

10. Never talk to strangers

Was at a bar and a woman starts coming up to me and we start chatting. Woman is clearly interested in me and is kissing me and whispering sweet nothings into my ear so I ask her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach and she agrees. Right as we are leaving the bar, a man walks up and asks what we are doing, bear in mind neither of us knew who he was. We tell him we are going for a walk on the beach and he promptly decides to join us for our walk and literally does not leave our side for the next two hours. I wanted to explode. –thano1998

11. Beaver-dammed

My “best friend” at the time, from high school to early 20s, would be terrible when we were around new guys or anyone she thought was cute. She was very flirty and loud, always needed all eyes on her. I was not, am still not that way.

I was talking to a guy at a party, he SEEMED smart and genuine. We were talking about our favorite authors and she walked up and said, “I don’t know why you’re talking to her about this, she can’t even read,” and then she started flirting with him hard. So I walked away. I’m pretty sure they slept together. –Que_sax23

12. Blocked by disease

I was at the bar one night and had a girl into me, we started making out, somewhere out back and I realized she was way too gone to consent. Told her as much. Bam, diabetic seizure.

Had to call an ambulance. –Balls_DeepinReality

13. Victim of vandalism

I was living in my college dorm on campus and had met a girl at a party earlier that night. We headed back to my dorm room and we were making out when suddenly the fire alarm went off.

When we stepped out of the dorm, there was water flooding down the elevator and stairs from two floors above. Some drunk idiot decided to punch one of the sprinklers and broke it off the wall, flooding from the 6th floor down and causing over a million dollars in damages.

The girl left back to her own dorm in a different building on campus and I had to stay with a friend for 3 days while they did disaster cleanup. The person who broke the sprinkler was expelled from the university and had to pay the insurance deductible for the building which totalled to about $150,000. This was only a month into his first year of college. Never met up with that girl again. –ninesandaces

14. Gotta change the locks

My husband and I (before we got married) were taking advantage of the 20 minutes I had before I had to leave for work when someone knocked on our door. We didn’t answer. Then we hear someone using a KEY to enter our home. It was my husband’s old roommate, who I already f-cking despised, using his old key long after he’d moved out to welcome himself into our home to look for something he might have left in storage. I’m still mad. –rowdyate9

15. Unlucky sailor

I was dating a girl who was also on-board the same Navy ship as I, at sea, and we were in a locked room getting a little frisky. I had just gotten inside her when the man overboard alarms go off. After the half-hour it took to settle that out we returned to the locked room to continue where we left off. Not 5 minutes later the alarm went off again because everyone on the ship took too long the first time and apparently we needed to do it again. We gave up after the second time. Been married to her for 17 years now… –AzBeMl

16. All’s well that ends well

In high school I met a new girl on the bus, liked her immediately and got the same feel from her.

I’m a slow mover so was kinda easing into things when thru the rumor mill I learned one of my oldest friends, since 5th grade, was also interested and had told others he would shoot me if he found me going around her moving forward.

Got on this odd spot where I didn’t want to be at odds with a guy I’d been having sleepovers with and gone on scout camping trips and all the other things we’d done together for years over a girl I just met…so…in a calculated way I decided to back off the girl and since I knew this buddy was very fat and redneck-minded I’d let him shoot his shot and when she turned him down I’d be golden with no hard feelings

Turns out he managed to get in there and was dating her, but was still so crazy jealous of me he never really talked to me again.

A year later they had broken up and I got a call from her asking if I wanted to hang out.

It’s a long story, but we’ve been together for 20 years and married for 10. –augustusleonus

17. So much for “friendly skies”

I was waiting for a flight, was at the bar and started talking to a girl. After 3 hours of drinking and heavy flirting, she straight up told me to watch for her going to the bathroom during the flight, and follow her there, and we’d join the mile-high club. Boarding time comes, she’s 20 people ahead of me in the check line, she goes on, I’m excited.

I hand the gate agent my ticket, she says I’ve been bumped from the flight because they overbooked and I was last to book, so I’m on the next flight. I try to tell her that I HAVE TO BE ON THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE I JUST DO. Doesn’t matter. I’m off.

I’m now a 21-year-old hammered guy that just almost had every dude’s fantasy come true. Oh, and it’s now 3am in Seattle Airport AND EVERYTHING IS CLOSED AND I JUST HAVE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE DEVIL WOMAN THAT JUST TOOK AWAY MY HEART AND I KNOW SHE KNOWS AND DID IT ON PURPOSE.

I was cockblocked by Delta airlines, and I will never forgive them. Ever. –mntoak

18. Well that backfired

I was living with my brother for a little while and asked if I could have a guy friend over for the night, he said that was cool. When we got there he handed the guy a half-gallon of hornitos and was like peer pressuring him to drink a hell of a lot. Well, he fell asleep eating me out and then pissed the bed. Lol… I told my brother nice job on the cock block but he pissed on your mattress. –DeeeBoggg

19. Blocked by a tot

He had me tied up in his bedroom for some kinky fun. His toddler daughter who we had put to bed an hour earlier and made sure she was sound asleep came bursting through the door screaming “poooooooooop” because she was potty training and would yell that when she had to go.

Now I’m tied up and gagged. He’s in the bathroom getting ready. She is pooping her diaper and thinking we’re playing some game.

We did not have sex that night. –cleaning-meaning

20. “King of C*ckblocks”

Okay so I was a camp counselor for a children’s camp back in 2019. One of the other counselors and I were hitting it off pretty hard, which was fairly easy considering we were basically living together for the majority of the summer.

While my cabin was asleep and the other counselors were heading off to bed, my ex and I decided we were going to have some fun in her personal room she had since she was part of the leadership staff. Her personal room was connected to a main counselor hangout spot that had a couch, refrigerator, bathroom/shower, etc. All the other counselors had left besides one counselor.

Where was this particular counselor? Sitting in a chair RIGHT in front of the door to her room, pretending to be asleep. I mean, it was as if he was LITERALLY blocking us from even getting in the room. All of the other counselors had left and we were waiting for him to get the hint and leave, except he just refused to leave whatsoever.

My ex and I both decided to wake him up so he would hopefully move out of the way to let us in. We called his name. No response. We started to nearly yell his name and demand he move out of the way. Still no response. So I decided to start sh-t-talking him a little bit to truly test if he was actually sleeping. Once that started, lo and behold he fucking wakes up, mumbles something under his breath, and leaves.

This all took place over the course of maybe 5 minutes, which doesn’t seem long unless you’re literally trying to wake up a grown man to tell him to move out of the way so we can do what we want to do.

Later the next day before a team meeting, he offhandedly mentions out loud how if he’s not “getting any,” nobody is. That’s the part that absolutely pisses me off. He WAS intentionally blocking us from having sex. He will forever be known as the King of Cockblocks in my book after a stunt like that. –AvalonCollective

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