Reddit

Divorce Lawyers Are Sharing The “Most Ridiculous Reasons” Their Clients Split Up

11.

Not a lawyer but a friend is , they said the husband wanted a divorce because the wife still wiped the ass of the perfectly healthy and mentally able teenage son among other things. —Anonymous

12.

Easy. She spent $42,000 on psychic hotlines. Notable, she then wouldn’t accept any of our offers, and I continuously asked her lawyer to provide counter-offers…shouldn’t her psychic have told her how the case would turn out?!? Lol. —jdoc1121

13.

My neighbour filed for divorce because he smacked his lips when he ate and slurped his coffee and soup. She thought if she didn’t she would end up in jail for battery. —mollymuppet78

14.

I had two couples come to me.

They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.

Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.

The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.

The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.

A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier. —atonyatlaw

15.

Not a divorce lawyer, but there’s this famous case that all law students know about. The wife asked for annulment of marriage, because almost a year into the marriage, they still haven’t had sex. The husband has been avoiding it for almost a year, and later on the court found out that he actually only has a 2 inch penis. —xueexin

16.

A friend of the family got divorced by her husband because she couldn’t outperform him on the golf course.. we all think he was cheating and just wanted an excuse but she did say he would often yell at her in public while golfing and mock her for her “attention to detail” whatever the f—k that means in golf… He would also force the family to go golfing on most weekends so it’s hard to say if that was the real reason or not. She doesn’t even like golf but was, and still is, afraid to tell him that. —ShenroEU

17.

Not a lawyer but one of the reasons my mom gave my dad on why they needed a divorce was that he bought expensive shampoo —Eternal_Phoenix

18.

Not a lawyer, but a friend of mine divorced her husband because his dick was too big. They were dating about six months, got a courthouse wedding and separated about six months after. She said it was fun at first but the sex became “too much work”. She said it took a lot of preparation. Apparently, as well, he was pushing for some butt stuff.

When she first told me off-hand, I refused to believe it. She showed me a picture of them dancing at their reception and holy shit was this guy packing heat. —PantiesMallone

 

19.

Estates Paralegal here! Saw a divorce where the defendant stopped cooking, and when the petitioner gave the defendant money for food (80’s, so was phrased as “housekeeping money”), the defendant would disappear for two weeks and play bingo. The defendant also ‘Lost interest in the child”

The bingo comment and stopping cooking comment will forever be ingrained in my head. —skunky_x

20.

He was still living with his mom —Jakester579

21.

Not a lawyer but happened to a friend. He woke up really early one reason because middle age. So while he makes coffee he checks the lottery numbers and they didn’t his a single number. Realizes he needs milk for the coffee and runs to the corner store. Starts to buy lottery tickets for the next drawing and comes up with what should have been a funny idea. He buys another ticket and plays the numbers that had already won the night before. He goes home and puts the ticket on the fridge where the other ones were thinking she will have no reason to pay attention to the day they are for. Hour later wife gets up and makes some coffee and he yells from the living room that he hasn’t checked the lottery numbers yet and for her to see if they won anything last night. He hears her use the laptop to check the numbers and then she is quiet for a minute. He said he had this big grin on his face waiting for her to start yelling they won and thinking how funny it would be (I actually think fake winning lottery tickets, and the prank he was pulling, are mean, but that is beside the point).

She yells from the kitchen that they didn’t win anything. She heads back upstairs and 15 minutes later she comes through the living room with both their elementary age kids in tow and says she forgot to tell him she had to go to her moms for the day and was taking the kids and just leaves.
He was shocked. Went and checked, lottery ticket is gone, not in trash or anywhere else. He realizes she thinks they won the lottery and she is trying to run off with the winnings.

She won’t return calls or talk to him and when he calls the house the grandma will confirm she is there, put the kids on the phone, but that is it. She finally shows up with the kids a couple days later and just walks in the house and says F#$% You and walks into her bedroom and won’t talk to him! Kids confirm that mom thought she had won a ton of money. Realizing what kind of person she is, and that she also isn’t very smart to think she would have gotten away with it, he divorced her. Probably not a ridiculous reason to divorce someone, but ridiculous behavior that would cause you to divorce someone.—LucidMagi

More of the best of AskReddit:

Aimeé Lutkin