Sometimes stories on the subreddit r/relationships seem like they’re going to go one way and then there’s a sharp left turn mid-story that completely changes your mind about the couple involved. This tale from Redditor u/chirpchirping is exactly that kind of situation.
She posted to the subreddit under the title, “My (21F) boyfriend (22M) wants me to choose between him and my life passion (frogs).”
On first glance, it would seem crazy to devote yourself to frogs over a committed partner, but she didn’t use the phrase “life passion” lightly. She explains in her post that for the last couple of years, she’s been rescuing frogs and caring for them as if they were her own children. She became a biologist because of her frogs and is in college working towards that goal. She says they help her cope with depression and losing friendships.
“At time it felt like the only reason I was still here was to nurture them and give them comfortable homes, ” she writes.
Then six months ago she met her boyfriend. The OP says they have a good relationship, but he has expressed he doesn’t particularly like animals. Her boyfriend told her he is going elsewhere for grad school and invited her to come—but she could only bring three of her 14 frogs.
I truly don’t understand how you can start dating someone who has 14 frogs and expect that to be something you can change about them, but her boyfriend was trying it. The OP writes:
I’m heartbroken because I don’t want to feel like I have to choose between the two most important things in my life. I’m frustrated and feel like it’s unfair of him to make me rehome all of them. I’ve tried to make compromises offering to rehome half, or even pay extra for us to have an extra bedroom for my frogs so he wouldn’t have to see or interact with them. He says he doesn’t like them because they’re ugly which to me is completely outrageous for him to be so dismissive of something I’m so passionate about.
I’m not sure what I should do, if I should break up with him and not go? Or if maybe I do have too many frogs and if I should rehome some?
She then asked for the Internet’s advice. What she got was a resounding HANG ON TO THOSE FROGS.
According to other posts from the OP, she spends about as much time on her frogs as anyone with a robust hobby, she isn’t a frog shut-in. As many people pointed out, she is young and hasn’t been with her boyfriend that long. There are people out there who will understand and support her frog love, but she won’t meet them if she goes and lives with someone who craps all over it:
Honey, you’re 21 and it’s only been 6 months. Dump him and find someone who loves your frogs as much as you do. pic.twitter.com/Lg3ZWvHZEA
— Jen (@such_hockey_wow) February 23, 2020
When the story made it’s way to Twitter lots of people weighed in:
Also, demanding you get rid of the pets THAT MADE YOU DISCOVER YOUR DREAM CAREER IS SCIENCE among other things the pets did for you…ditch the guy, keep the frogs and what they’ve done for you. Science career and fieldwork will have you meet lots of cool new bfs.
— Bricoleuse (@Kinniska) February 23, 2020
Who is out here going, “This person would be the perfect partner if it wasn’t for their [10000 page Gargoyles fanfiction/fully functional basement gin distillery/award-winning goats/aquarium full of rare fish]” that weird shit is what people are MADE OF
— Ms. Respex 💄🐱🌜 (@Respexy) February 23, 2020
I’ve just realised that I’m an adult, and I can in fact have my own frog room if I want.
— East Amsterdam Home For Wayward Middle Youth (@Fernmonkey) February 23, 2020
Is 14 frogs too many?
Is 1 boyfriend who wants you to abandon your passion for him too many?
— Olax (@Torkson) February 23, 2020
Not just pets and a hobby, this is basically her life’s work and career-related!
— depresh mode (@1c3B3rgMama) February 23, 2020
I’ve never wanted a tattoo before, but this is truth.
— Lyn (@Frogglin) February 24, 2020
I’m sure she found a good home for the ex-boyfriend so her and her frogs would be left in peace.
— Matthew Cerra (@Matthew_Cerra) February 24, 2020
and six months dating someone..too soon to move away and live together 😫 pic.twitter.com/bGU9meClVx
— dyredre (@jewelbaby83) February 24, 2020
And the comments on Reddit seem to have swayed the OP. She wrote in an update:
I want to thank you guys for all being so supportive of me. This advice is phenominal and I’m definitely going to bring it up to him. If he’s still firm on his frog rule, I think it would be beneficial for me to seek attention elsewhere. Definitely some hard to read stuff but I needed this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
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