“7 years ago I was riding my bike to work one day and when crossing a street (in the legal zone with a walk sign) a woman ran me over. She drove through the crosswalk looking to turn right and ran right into me. She stopped after I got bumped hard enough by her fender to take a spill and have some bruising all down my side. She gave me an exasperated, “my bad” wave and continued to talk on her cell phone, ignoring me as I picked myself and my bike up. I walked right up to her open window, grabbed her cell phone from her ear, and chucked it into a nearby parking lot as hard as I could. I swear that was the farthest I have thrown anything in my life. She gaped at me in shock as I struggled back onto my bike and slowly road off fuming yet victorious.
Then a half-mile farther on my trek I got attacked by a goose. Not my best day. TL:DR – woman hit me with her car, got revenge, got attacked by goose. Edit: Those who have pointed out that riding a bike in a crosswalk is not legal are correct. In this particular instance, it was not a sidewalk but a designated bike path. They had a normal walk signal at an intersection, but I believe it was still acceptable to ride across as it was a bike-specific path. I could be wrong though.” — wave517
“Went to go get my exhaust fixed, no big deal- pothole poked a hole in it. When I went to go pick up the car a couple of hours later, I am treated to a woman SCREAMING at the guy behind the counter- she’s positively foaming because she has been waiting nearly 30 minutes for her car to be fixed. She even goes so far as to call the guy an “INSIGNIFICANT LAZY IMMIGRANT”. Guy looks at her- looks at me. Throws me my keys- “Here you go, your Magnum’s ready- no charge.” Looks her directly in the eyes. “Looks like it’s going to be more expensive than we originally thought. Would you like us to call you a cab?” I returned shortly afterward with pizza for the shop. TLDR: Fuck bitches, get pizza.”—DeLaNope
“I was sitting in my car making some photos with my new smartphone while using different settings. Then there was this woman who just stopped at a one way street with only 1 lane. So she stands there for like 10 seconds doing nothing. And i thought this is very unusual…so i started to make a video. Another driver comes and honks. Shen then proceeds to reverse and hit the car of the other guy with her big BMW. 4 Guys jumped out of the BMW and start yelling at the guy. You have to know in Germany always the one who hits another car from behind will be blamed if he cant prove that it wasn’t his fault. So we have a classic insurance fraud. The poor guy at the back was really worried cause he knew he couldn’t prove it. I just sit there in my car ant waited for the police. Then I go outside and the police started to get the story’s…of course they were 4 against one guys.
I just stood there and listen the woman complaining about who this idiot hits her from behind and her brand new car is now damaged. After the police took the statement from both sides and even take my statement they said there is no chance that 2 vs 4 could proof that he didn’t do it. 2 of the guys at the BMW said they didn’t know the girl and were pedestrians who saw it. That would increase credibility. So they made all false statements to the police and exactly that’s the thing I wanted to happen. I than told the police “oh wait there is just one thing” like Colombo style and said that i got a video of what happened. I showed them to the police and the women and the drivers just stand there with mouth open…you could not only see how she hits HIS car but also that the “Pedestrians” were with the women in the car. The guy than hugs me and we became good friends. Turns out he lives near me and we spend the evening drinking and gaming.” —Odatas
“Saw a woman with her husband toss a squash into a cooler that they apparently didn’t want anymore. As they walked away, I picked up the squash and followed them. They left their cart for a moment so I put the squash into their cart and walked away. She had a dumbfounded look on her face when she noticed it back in her cart (I put our in a very noticeable place) and proceeded to put it on a nearby shelf and they walked away. I of course took it off the shelf and followed them again, doing a drive by drop off of the squash. At this moment my girlfriend got fed up with my antics and made me stop. I would have done it until they gave up and bought the squash, or I was caught. I’m very easily amused.”—DigitalHubris
“I provided unsolicited marriage counseling services to a dickhead. I worked at a hotel several years ago and had to deal with insufferable pricks about a dozen times a day. (Hotel stories about Billy Mays watching granny porn, a person that threw hot coffee in my face, a person that spit on me, and a crazy lady that slapped me are in my comment history.) The best/most evil revenge I ever got was on a guy that stayed with us four days a week for the entire five years I worked at the hotel. The big utility company in our area was having financial issues and he was the leader of the auditing team that was sent in to straighten it out. Anyway…I would interact with the guy at least a few times every day I worked, and he was ALWAYS very rude and condescending. As an example, one of his co-workers would ask me for a local restaurant recommendation and he would chime in with “Yeah, because minimum-wage workers are known for their taste in fine dining.”
If someone asked me something personal, he would say something like, “Ask him what life choices he made to be here plunging toilets and writing down my preferred wake-up call time. Maybe he can share his wisdom so we all avoid his fate.” Stuff like that. He was just a jackass to everyone on the hotel staff, and was always very demanding. Since I saw him every day, I noticed that he had developed a relationship with one of the younger women on his auditing team. I saw their romance blossom from flirting to full-on groping and grinding in the hotel lobby. One day he had just finished delivering one of his delightfully shitty bon mots to me, and I was fuming.
Then he screamed at one of my co-workers because she had a Filipino accent and he said he only wanted his room cleaned by “white Americans.” I vowed revenge. His wife called in to speak to him later that night like she usually did, and I said “Oh, I think he’s sleeping in Ms. *****’s room tonight. One moment, please.” and then I connected his wife to her room. His wife must not have told him what I had said, because he didn’t try to get me fired. They got a divorce. They didn’t have kids, but according to another guy on the auditing team, his wife got the house and custody of their dog. He stopped staying with us shortly after “the phone call.”—Shooter
“7 years ago I volunteer at my university, safe walks and all that jazz. We are required to report suspicious and illegal activity. Witnessed a woman driving a mercedes-benz across a lawn to bypass the parking gate, tearing up this gorgeous lawn. Being an ex-landscaper, and mad at some rich bitch being too cheap for parking, I am not amused, so we reported it to the parking authority. They show up while the chick is still getting crap out of her trunk, box her in, and start writing a ticket. She ended up driving away, over a curb, peeling her bumper off in the process. Made me kinda happy inside.”— I_Have_Unobtainium
“I’m a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily. Every Wednesday is the senior discount day. You have to be 55-60 to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don’t want to deal with the seniors. I don’t generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes. This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain in the ass from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was the probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, “There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I’m going to request to the corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don’t seem to have the initiative to request that yourself.”
Off to a great start, lady. She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. “I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here.” We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer. ONE. I say “No problem, but I’ll get you at checkout. You have too many items to get here.” She has a HUGE hissy fit. “I don’t have time for this. Let’s GO.” As I’m checking her out, it is constant bitching. “You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don’t even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip.” “Please don’t put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread.” “Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I’m in a magazine.” She was unbelievable. Finally, at the end, I had enough. As she’s about to pay, I say, “Don’t forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!” She just stared at me. “What?” I smiled broadly. “Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I’ll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?” She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red. I lose my smile slowly and say “Oh, you don’t qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.” I haven’t seen her in the store since.”—RainbowSparkle17
“I used to work for the Department of Motor Vehicles and the one I worked at had pretty limited parking, surprise! I had left for lunch, came back and was having a hard time finding a place to park. I finally found a spot so I drove up to it and put my signal on showing that I was waiting for it. People, in my experience, usually respect this and continue on. Not this time. Just as the car was backing out, after I had waited a few minutes, a car came from the opposite side of the lot, made eye contact with me and then shot right into the parking space. I was so mad because now I would be late after looking for a new spot. As I drove past the woman that had taken the spot, I just shook my head and she responded by shrugging her shoulders, smiling, mouthing the words, “oh well” to me and then ran her finger from her eye down her cheek as if to mock me crying about it. I continued into work, got in trouble for being late, but had actually forgotten about the incident until who’s number gets called to my station, but Miss Spot-Stealer herself! The look on her face was priceless!
Keep in mind that I’m not your average DMV worker, I understand that stuff happens and waive penalties all the time and treat my customers with respect because I believe that what goes around, comes around and I know how crappy it is to wait at the DMV all day! I’m usually so nice about getting penalties taken off of people’s accounts that I get in trouble for it at times. So, I greet Spot-stealer as nice as I would anyone else, in fact it may have been nicer than I normally would be. She may have thought I didn’t recognize her. Her registration is FAR past due, with hundreds due in penalties. I let her tell me her whole sob story then finally tell her that she owes in full because she was aware of her due date. She argues it a little until, out of site from my manager, I mouth the words, “oh well” and drag my finger from my eye to my cheek, mocking her tears. At that point she puts her head down and proceeds to take out her card and pay the full amount because yes, we do take debit cards! 🙂 What goes around, comes around!”—NoForReally
“I work in local theatre, and we have a lot of rude, awful women who are part of local ballet schools come through our venue who are the mothers of the dancers. Once this woman rang up wanting seats to an almost sold-out ballet performance that had been on sale for 4 months the day before the show, and did nothing but abuse me for 5 minutes because she left buying them too late, whined about how she shouldn’t have to pay to for her kids, whined that we should get a bigger venue (it seats just under 500 -.-) then put me on hold while she rang 3 of her relatives to see if they wanted seats too. She was positively awful.
The seats I was about to sell her were the only ones in the theatre left, and they were good seats. While I’m on hold a grandma of one of the ballerinas comes to the desk and askes if we have any seats left, as she’d been in hospital and couldn’t buy them earlier, but said she’d understand if we were booked out. I put the phone with the on-hold music down and sold this old lady the last seats for the show, and gave her an invite to our next year’s dance season for her grandaughter and herself, so she’d know exactly when all the important dates were coming. She thanked me over and over, and she’s now one of our regulars and brings her grandkids to our shows. 2 minutes after the old lady leaves the bitch on the other end finally takes me off hold and says she wants the remaining seats that we have left, I tell her “Sorry we’ve just sold out while you had me on hold I’m afraid, better luck next year, anything else I can help you with?”She was choking with rage on the other end of the phone, it was fantastic.”—username deleted
“We were driving around some little town in Europe for an hour or so looking for a place to say and kept getting told they were full. We pull into the Nth hotel of the evening. As Dad and I (9 years old) are walking in, we hear from say 80 feet away the desk clerk tell another potential guest that they have one room left. He says “I’ll have to check with my wife (who wasn’t nearby)” and he turns around. My Dad yells from across the lobby “I’ll take it.” Dude gets this shocked look on his face, spins around and tells the clerk “I’LL take it.”
Desk clerk to other guy: “I’m sorry, sir but we’ve just sold out.” I think I got the visual version of your story… EDIT: So, who knew this would wind up being a 1000+pt post. I figured I’d add a slight bit of additional context and a question. So, as I recall this was in rural(ish) France. This predates cell phones by a decade at least. There was no spouse in evidence and there was no place for her to be other than back in the parking area which was a ways away from the entrance as this was a smallish castle. So, question(s) for the negative side of the posts: What’s the international standard time for someone to wait for dude to go out to his car, find his wife and complete a discussion? What’s the percentage on “let me talk to my wife” being a substitute for “Hey, this place is too expensive for us.” Is it the clerk’s obligation or ours to be standing in the doorway to see if they make a negative decision?”—JoshuaLyman