“Was in theater quite a few years back (some action flick, I think Jean Claude Van Damme) and there were two 16-year-old-or-so kids in front of me who were, in turn, behind a group of smaller kids — say 12 or so. I was alone — the wife hates action movies. I quickly noticed that the two older kids were fucking with the younger ones — kicking their seat backs, throwing popcorn at them, flicking spit at them, the works. The theater was crowded so the little guys couldn’t move.
Finally one of the doucheteens leans forward and (I think) flicked one kid’s ear. When the little kid turned around to glare, flicking doucheteen says, “You got a problem with that, shithead?” His friend guffaws. When the flickmeister sits back, I haul off and give him a decent slap upside the head, knocking his noggin into his friend’s. They both turn and half jump out of their seats … and then pause when they see me. I am 6-2, 225 pounds. I stood up and said, “You got a problem with that, shitheads?” They looked at each other and then turned to sit back down. “Uh-uh,” I said. “You sit there, and I’m gonna make you as miserable as you’ve been making those guys in front of you.” They shuffled on out of the theater. The younger kids all turned and said “Thank you, sir.” TL;DR Bitchslapped some teen bullies, became action hero.”—asshat_backwards
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