Jason Mustian
11. This ridiculously early bedtime.
Bed time was 7pm until I was in my teens. I didn’t realise other kids had much later bedtime until I was a teenager. I think it was mostly because my mum’s favourite soapy comes on at 7pm… We were noisy kids —Daddyssillypuppy
12. This positively effing wonderful decree.
Cursing Thursdays. You could say whatever you wanted with no consequences. Had someone stay over who knew the rule, opened my parents bedroom and said “goodnight motherfuckers”—carson2210
13. This mom’s war on the war on drugs.
If the DARE officer at school shows you something and it smells familiar, say NOTHING. I will explain it later. Also, If mom’s room smells like incense, it is the best time to ask for something. —MissMynical
14. This dad’s confusion about where they lived.
“I wasn’t allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing. Mind you, this was in rural Wisconsin in the ’90s. My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time.” —Youcanthearjimmy
15. This fancy weirdness.
We had silverware with roses on it. Our thumbs had to be on the rose when we used the utensils or we’d have to “practice” after dinner.
Utensils couldn’t make any noise against your teeth or you’d have to practice after dinner. —2boredtocare
16. This mom’s hilarious take on horror movies.
We could watch Freddy movies but not Jason movies bc my mom thought Friday the 13th was “satanic” but Nightmare on Elm Street movies were just for fun. —Joe434
17. This mom’s design dictatorship.
I wasn’t allowed to put any personal touches in my room. No posters, paint colors, pictures of my friends, or any sort of choices – not even my comforter. It was all decorated to my mother’s specifications. —arcant12
18. This dad’s milk-slurpring prohibition.
I wasn’t allowed to drink the milk left over after eating cereal. Never really got an explanation but my dad would yell if I tried…. —QuinstonChurchill
19. These people’s aversion to pronouns.
My parents acted like referring to them as “he” or “she” while they were in the room was the equivalent of saying “fuck you”. So referring to my parents with pronouns was effectively not allowed. —gentrifiedavocado
20. This Native American superstition.
Not allowed to whistle at night. Was told that you’d hear one back from someone who isn’t there.
Clarification: My mother is Native American, so we have a few superstitions like that. House isn’t haunted. Parents aren’t schizo. Just mild superstition. —randomMNguy98
21. This cookie ordinance.
After-school treat time was the only time we could have cookies, and we could only have three. It’s not too weird a rule, but it had a significant impact. I’m 50 now and will still have exactly three cookies whenever I have cookies.” —Wpbdan
22. This obvious infringement on free speech (and fun).
“We couldn’t say the word ‘fart.’ Ever. It was up there with the f-word as far as bad words in my parents’ world.” —N1ck1McSpears
23. This household’s obvious abhorrence to laundry.
“We were only allowed one clean towel a week. We could do whatever we wanted with it, but we didn’t get another clean one until the next week.” —MediocreC
24. This poison paranoia.
“I was never allowed to leave a drink in the car because, according to my mother, ‘someone could poison it.’ She’s always been overly paranoid about safety, but that rule is still my favorite.” —Throne-Eis
25. This kid’s funny failure to grasp the root of the rule.
“This wasn’t me, but my friend/neighbor: When my dad would get home from work, my friend would have to go home. His parents told him that because that meant it was dinnertime and therefore he should come home; however, him being a child, didn’t grasp that portion of the rule. He only understood ‘come home when the dad gets home.’ This translated in my friend being terrified of my father. If he saw my dad turning into the driveway, he would drop whatever we were doing and sprint home.” —Not_all_aware
26. And this clear invitation to make up things about video games you wanted to play.
“No violent video games UNLESS they were ‘about history.'” —therealmacter
