Aimeé
21.
Dishes he washes that still have grease in them. I shut my mouth, thank him for doing the dishes and just put them back on the wash side. Pick and choose your battles.
— Lori (@Loriannapp) January 9, 2020
22.
The man cannot load a dishwasher properly and fundamentally does not understand the difference between what is recyclable and what is not. This is my supervillain origin story. https://t.co/MXx6U6mraX
— Ali Sciarabba (@alimscribbles) January 9, 2020
23.
When he goes to the grocery store, he suddenly forgets about his wife & 3 children, and shops like a teenage boy. Buys things like ‘salami-cheese’, Pringles, a 2 liter bottle of orange soda & a single mango.
It makes me want to flip the table.— January Garnetson (@a_poods) January 9, 2020
24.
Me: babe just let me buy you a loofah
Him: no this works better
Reader, he was using a STEEL WOOL PAD on his feet. It lived in the shower, like it just belonged there
— Moose Friend (@sarahthemoose) January 9, 2020
25.
Leaving lights on in a room you’re no longer in. WHY, GOD?!
Also, Jesus didn’t die for you to not close cabinets.
— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) January 9, 2020
26.
Husband: Have you seen the [thing]
Me: Did you check the [place]
Husband: Yeah, I don’t see it
Me: *finds [thing] in [place]* https://t.co/frvlj35xgn— basic wife (@basic_wife) January 10, 2020
27.
“Could you put your seatbelt on before starting the car engine so that the seatbelt alarm doesn’t start going?”
“Guess so”
Next time we’re in the car: “Could you put your seatbelt on before…”
Ad infinitum https://t.co/the5NnbUIR
— Alice Lilly (@aliceolilly) January 9, 2020
28.
We literally have not put toilet paper on the toilet paper holder in the fifteen years we’ve lived together because I insist it goes over-the-top and she insists it hangs-down-behind.
It goes on its side in a drawer next to the toilet so we do not have to get a divorce.
— sarahquaint (@sarahquaint) January 9, 2020
29.
When we clean the house I’ll be doing things like picking up the living room, vacuuming, dishes & he will find the most obscure, insane chore and do it for HOURS. Like last weekend it was that he cleaned our grill. Like took apart every peice and cleaned it. In December. Why.
— Tara McNee (@taracarea) January 9, 2020
30.
Omg, yes. 🤬 pic.twitter.com/dSIVP7FnSd
— Democracy, unRedacted 🇺🇸🍑 🆘 (@danisumerford) January 9, 2020
31.
Addendum: he died last April, and I think of him every time I get in the shower and use the one ever-diminishing bar of soap on the shelf. And I’m still mad about 48 years of stupid soap wars.
— Karla with a K (@kmk1072) January 9, 2020
More jokes, tweets, and memes about marriage:
- 37 Memes That Understand Your Marriage Even Better Than You Do
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- These Marriage Proposal Fails Are The Complete Opposite of Romantic
- People Are Sharing Their Spouses’ Most Bizarre Habits—That They Only Found Out About After Moving In Together
