Aimeé
21.
I’ve said it before but she asked “how do you last so long? Do you think of your grandma?” While I was inside of her —pinebone
22.
Not me but a friend. They were naked, just about to get to it, when the guy looks at a shelf, says, “oh you got magic cards!” then gets off the bed to go look at them. All while still naked. —TerracottaTurtle
23.
While going down on me, he pulled out my nuvaring and said; what the f—k?! He thought it was a glowstick. He actually thought I had put a glowstick in my vagina for the element of surprise. —devillmay
24.
It killed the mood but was funny at the same time. So, there’s a video my boyfriend showed me of a turtle having sex ( don’t ask ). The female is kinda just like sitting there, not making any noises whatsoever ever but the male is making a weird “heeeehhhh…heeeehhh” sound :/ Anyways, RIGHT as my boyfriend came he made the same exact sound the turtle made, spot on too. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in the times we’ve had sex, before or after that time. He laughed too, but it did kill the mood the rest of the night. I’ll occasionally bring that up, but only after so that I know we’ve both came that night. —Loves_me_tacos125
25.
During intense foreplay, she answered the phone and talked for about half an hour. Mood was killed, embalmed, and buried. —pspearing
26.
Idk why but I told my gf that I like her pheromones. She thought I said “bear moans”. She was offended. It was one of the first times we had ever had sex with each other. Still together tho —wheathiccs
27.
I was the one that said it.
Back in the day, my husband worked nights throwing freight at a grocery store. There was this old man who worked in another department and on busy nights he would walk around saying “you’re not gonna finish!” then cackle and hobble away. So, while we were getting busy, I got on top and in my best impersonation of this old man said “yoooou’re not gonna finiiish!” The revulsion quickly turned to laughter and I still do it every once in a while (not during sex though). —prettyprincess93
28.
Making out on the couch and things were getting very hot and heavy. My (first ever) boyfriend begs me yet again to “just let me look at it.” I gave in to passion, pulled my bell bottoms and panties down, and laid back. He got inches away from me down there, and just stared for an eternity, wide-eyed. I never felt so desired….that I could have that kind of sexual power…..when finally he glanced up our eyes met….and he said…. “Did you know your butthole is really really close to your p*ssy?” —JuneSavoy
29.
A partner had had laser hair removal, and when I touched her vulva for the first time, she said, “just like a [underage] girl.” I’ve never moved my hand faster than I did then. She was in her 50s,and after she realized what she said, she apologized and swore never to use that phrase again. —DasPuggy
30.
Me, not her. Going down on my wife and my mind was wandering. For some dumb f—king reason I rememberd that her mom had called about coming over. So, as my wife is heading to climax I stopped, looked up, and asked “Did you call your mom back?” F*cking idiot. —voice_of_craisin
