Bridezillas are a hot topic on the Internet, usually going viral for over-the-top demands and expectations of their bridal party, especially their poor, beleaguered bridesmaids.
A woman on TikTok named Lisa Torres has turned the trope on its head, sharing a letter she gave to her bridesmaids when asking them to join her wedding party. The letter is also full of expectations—but she shared them so they had an honesty opportunity to say, “No, thank you!”
In her letter, Torres tried to be as clear as possible with her bridesmaids, letting them know what she would be paying for and what she’d be expecting them to pay for.
“I told them I would pay for their hair and makeup, but that they would be responsible for for the cost of the bridesmaid dress — although, they had freedom as to what style they wanted,” she explained. “I just wanted a specific color.”
She also outlined the time commitments, saying that anyone who lived more than half an hour away would not be obligated to join in all these events, like trying on a wedding dress.
Torres was inspired to share her letter when she saw a TikTok made by user @stephanieberman7, about how she discovered how much time and money she’d be spending on a wedding only AFTER she agreed to be a bridesmaid. Torres says she’d been in the same position herself.
“Before I got engaged, I was a bridesmaid before, and I wasn’t fully aware of all the costs and expectations associated with being a bridesmaid,” she explained.
“I just put it in this cute little envelope and included it as part of the bridesmaid proposal box,” she said, explaining the letter also says they’re free to keep the gifts in the proposal box even if they don’t want to be a bridesmaid. And one didn’t.
“One of them said no,” she admits. “It’s fine. We’re still good friends.”
The comments are full of people who appreciate Torres’ mature approach to what can be an awkward conversation, and think they’ll be taking the same approach in future.
Though a lot of people outside the U.S. were kind of baffled that anyone is expected to pay for stuff when invited to join a bridal party. Most other places, it’s traditional for the couple to pay as part of their wedding budget:
Damn, other countries get universal healthcare and now this?!