Who are these 30-50 feral hogs you’ve been hearing about? Where are the 30-50 feral hogs? Are the 30-50 feral hogs dangerous? Please, let us explain.
To start, we live in a grim reality. Over the weekend, there were two back to back mass shootings. Our president is partly responsible for inciting racial hatred and white nationalism that seems to be a direct cause of at least one of these massacres.
Trump also responded to the shootings by going to a wedding, then holding a press conference where he referred to the wrong city while sending his thoughts and prayers. It’s a difficult time, to say the least.
It seems like people are dealing with the tension by obsessively focusing on one ridiculous online exchange. In the wake of a shootings where people are killed with automatic assault weapons, the debate often focuses on why anyone would need a gun that powerful.
Musician Jason Isbell referred to that debate on Twitter, stating, “If you’re on here arguing the definition of ‘assault weapon’ today you are part of the problem. You know what an assault weapon is, and you know you don’t need one.”
If you’re on here arguing the definition of “assault weapon” today you are part of the problem. You know what an assault weapon is, and you know you don’t need one.
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) August 4, 2019
It’s true that gun lovers often spend time after a shooting arguing with less knowledgable gun folks about the exact machinations of all their guns, ignoring that people are discussing the fire power of a weapon that can kill nine people in less than 30 seconds.
Then there’s also William McNabb. Who is he? Currently the star of the Internet, though his Twitter profile says he’s just a libertarian, Christian dad. He had a “legit” question for Isbell.
“How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?” he asked.
It’s unclear if this is a real problem that has come up for McNabb or if he is yanking everyone’s chain. But the phrase “30-50 feral hogs” really captured everyone’s imagination. First people dunked on the tweet itself for awhile:
and then, presumably, the hogs raised you as one of their own
— Matunos (@matunos) August 6, 2019
This made me laugh way harder than it should have 😂
— Jenn (@jennxxdcs) August 6, 2019
He worked hard, studied engineering, learned weapon design praying he could create something, anything to more efficiently kill 30-50 feral hogs.
And he did.
My grandfather is Albert Armalite. The inventor of the AR-13 the worlds greatest Hog Attack weapon
— Echo Doctrine (@EchoDoctrine) August 6, 2019
It soon transformed into one of the most versatile meme we’ve seen since two months ago when everything was about wives:
ME, SEEING 29 FERAL HOGS RUNNING INTO MY YARD: Careful now, kids.
ME, SEEING EXACTLY ONE ADDITIONAL HOG RUNNING INTO MY YARD: pic.twitter.com/6MTXSDK8qb
— Grant Brisbee (@GrantBrisbee) August 5, 2019
I got 99 problems and 30-50 of them are feral hogs
— riding shotgun with santa (@SamGrittner) August 5, 2019
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) August 5, 2019
I am a:
🔘 30-50 feral hogs
🔘 a yard with unsupervised small children to run in to within 3-5 minutes
— Marianna Cross (@BarbiturateCat) August 5, 2019
— Podside Pete, Scorpion Inhaler (@PodsidePete) August 5, 2019
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, nevermind it’s 50 feral hogs.
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) August 5, 2019
In ~72 hours this will be completely incomprehensible pic.twitter.com/QljE5XSWHM
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) August 5, 2019
The 47 in AK-47 stands for the number of feral hogs it kills per minute this is canon now.
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) August 5, 2019
stages of Feral Hog Twitter
1. confusion seeing everyone tweet “30 to 50 feral hogs”
2. find the tweet & assume it’s satire
3. read the tweet again & realize it’s for real
4. like and RT only feral hog tweets for 12 hrs straight
5. become 30 to 50 feral hogs
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 6, 2019
Telling people "I don't have kids"
– invites too many questions
– people feel entitled to tell you about why you should
Telling people "30-50 feral hogs ate my kids"
– no follow-up questions needed
– people stop talking to you
— Oliver Sachgau (@sachgau) August 6, 2019
Welcome to the jungle
We've got fun and games
We've got thirty feral hogs
Or fifty, in that range
— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) August 6, 2019
— After Sex Juul. (@ChimneyChangas) August 6, 2019
A 5,000-year-old seal impression from Uruk shows the city’s ruler on the hunt with his dogs for an unknown number of (probably 30-50) feral hogs.
The sealing appears on a grain management account written in proto-cuneiform, an early stage in the development of writing in Iraq pic.twitter.com/VWwwGwwphe
— Dr. Moudhy Al-Rashid (@Moudhy) August 6, 2019
30-50 Feral Hogs & Shaw pic.twitter.com/iTmaNhxunf
— Sandy Honig (@sandyhonig) August 6, 2019
There are literally thousands more of these. Why? Is it because the phrase “30-50 feral hogs” is hilarious? Or is it because the human mind can’t hold the horror of the world in focus for long before it goes stampeding off like a group of unruly pigs?
is the deranged urgency with which we’ve all embraced “30 to 50 feral hogs” the sign of a mental break or what pulled us back from the brink of one
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 5, 2019
Ban on all assault weapons, unless your kids have been eaten by hogs. Sounds fair.