This Dude’s Viral List Of ‘Requirements For A Wife’ Is Being Brutally And Hilariously Roasted

On the one hand, online dating is a fabulous byproduct of the Internet, allowing for matches to be made and dates to be arranged between people who would have otherwise never met. No more loneliness! No more awkward setups and blind dates! Just a mutually beneficial arrangement that allows single people to tentatively feel one another out before having to meet face to face.

What could go wrong?

Everything, apparently.

Because the flip side of this coin is the revelation that there is a disconcerting amount of people (men) out there who not only maintain a host of vile and misogynistic requirements from prospective dates—but who openly flaunt these requirements with pride, as though they were characteristics to be celebrated and enjoyed.

In a way, its cool these dudes are outing themselves as douches right off the bat. Saves a lot of time. On the other…it’s both discouraging and exhausting to see how many of them are out there.

The latest offender—who referred to himself as Not Your Average Joe—recently began to garner attention for his list of super sexual future-wife demands when someone posted his bio to r/ChoosingBeggars.

The often-savage Reddit community quickly began to roast the hell out of Not Your Average Joe.

This guys requirements for a wife from ChoosingBeggars

Everyone had questions pertaining to the “longboard” requirement. If it’s a sexual term, it isn’t one that’s on Urban Dictionary. (I know because I checked!!!)

…Unless it’s just this weird attempt at being clever, where each point starts off as innocuous but turns inexplicably sexual and nasty?

Also, the cat part. THE CAT PART.

Like…the cat needs to be in the room while he’s doing the dirty?

Also, the gym part. THE GYM PART. Does he want to work out while copulating while eating a four-course meal? This seems to me the most concerning part.

It’s surprising that our boy isn’t already wife’d up.

But not that surprising if we consider that it just might be the worst Instagram account in the world, AKA Hard Rock Nick.

h/t Reddit