Bride’s List Of 11 “Wedding Rules” Sparks Debate About Whether They’re Rude Or Just Common Sense

If you’ve ever planned a wedding or are currently planning one, you might have a movie playing over and over in your head of all the ways it might go wrong.


Is Uncle Joe going to get drunk and try and sing with the band? Are Susie and Steve going to have a messy break-up in the middle of the dance floor again? Will Cousin Betty complain the whole time?

One social media user posted a list of Wedding Rules and sparked a debate about whether such behavior is too controlling

(Or whether these rules are just reminders of good wedding etiquette and common sense.)

Some of the rules? Don’t wear white, don’t show up late, stay off your phone during the ceremony, pace yourself when drinking, stay out of the photographer’s way, no big announcements, and no nit-picking.

Some folks considered the list rude.


“Surely there is a more polite way of doing this? This is rude. They are guests, not inmates. Surely people know? It’s common sense…If you need to give your guests rules then I think you’re inviting the wrong kind of people.”

The bride explained that the list was basically aimed at one person in particular: her fiancé’s mother.

“How is it rude? My fiancé’s mother needs rules because she is that type of controlling and narcissistic person,” she wrote. “She’s not one to just ‘talk to.’ I tried talking to her once about not piercing my daughter’s ears because I wanted to wait and she blew up and swore at us…and walked out.”

Now, a lot of us might think these rules are obvious and would never consider being rude or ill-behaved at a wedding, but unfortunately there are people out there who need reminding—and even with a reminder, it’s entirely possible that they just wouldn’t care.

What do you think? Overbearing or necessary?

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.