Aimeé
You want funny Halloween tweets? We got funny Halloween tweets.
Many people think of Halloween as a scary time of year, because it involves masked children on a sugar high and drunk adults trying to smooch while dressed up as the Joker.
But we think of it as one of the funniest time of year—when the veil is thin, the ghosts and goblins come out to play. Maybe it’s also an especially goofy holiday because the Thanksgiving and Christmas season are so serious in comparison: you have to spend so much time with family and you can’t even wear a slutty costume because that would be “inappropriate.” Whatever, mom.
But on Halloween, the energy is mischievous. Plus, there’s so much material, so many opportunities to mock and meme costumes, candy, decorations, or nightmare celebrations. Those jokes explode onto Twitter as soon as the sun sets on September 30th and we’ve been saving the best. Below are all the skeleton rescue pets, Evil Moose, and Sexy White Claw costumes dunks you could ever desire. Hide from the haunted house party you’re at for a minute to scroll through and laugh maniacally to yourself.
1.
me: *hits spider web down with broom*
spider: wow
me: *puts up fake spider web decorations for Halloween*
spider: WOW
— Za Morant (@worldchvmpion) October 5, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/AshlynDanyela/status/1178465835423354881
3.
one time I was out on halloween and there was a guy wearing a fake moustache and a priest collar and I asked him "are you someone in particular or are you just moustache priest?" and he said "just moustache priest" and I said "cool"
— whit (@whitneyarner) October 1, 2019
4.
https://twitter.com/venaverjavier/status/1178999653049737217
5.
When you get sent to hell, these are the cookies in the waiting room while they process ya paperwork https://t.co/49MpWPp7Tc
— Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi (@roywoodjr) October 3, 2019
6.
He was so terrified when we brought him home 2 days ago, now he’s a member of the family❤️ pic.twitter.com/AaZpBQ2kP3
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) October 6, 2019
7.
spiders watching humans put webs all over their house during halloween pic.twitter.com/k7lLc6E7MU
— zander (@zandirts) October 11, 2019
8.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm clearly Sloth from "The Goonies." Let go of me!" pic.twitter.com/zYUrH9kO5F
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) October 7, 2019
9.
my bf is 6’2 i’m 4’9. he said he wants us to be sully and mike wazowski for halloween smh where’s the eject button
— gandalf the gay (@sidelicioussss) October 1, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/SoleilRayonnant/status/1179163152929431552
11.
how many bitches y’all think you know that are gonna dress as a white claw/slutty white claw for halloween and claim it was their original idea.. i can think of like five off the top of my head
— Tana Mongeau (@tanamongeau) October 3, 2019
12.
https://twitter.com/cobwebkitten/status/1182111660435103745
13.
https://twitter.com/supplierofmemes/status/1181180700721991682
14.
I'm either a vampire or that guy in your creative writing class pic.twitter.com/qdaLVR72Te
— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) October 3, 2019
15.
halloween is my favorite holiday because you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand without getting in trouble
— McNasty (@McNasty) October 3, 2019
