You want funny Halloween tweets? We got funny Halloween tweets.
Many people think of Halloween as a scary time of year, because it involves masked children on a sugar high and drunk adults trying to smooch while dressed up as the Joker.
But we think of it as one of the funniest time of year—when the veil is thin, the ghosts and goblins come out to play. Maybe it’s also an especially goofy holiday because the Thanksgiving and Christmas season are so serious in comparison: you have to spend so much time with family and you can’t even wear a slutty costume because that would be “inappropriate.” Whatever, mom.
But on Halloween, the energy is mischievous. Plus, there’s so much material, so many opportunities to mock and meme costumes, candy, decorations, or nightmare celebrations. Those jokes explode onto Twitter as soon as the sun sets on September 30th and we’ve been saving the best. Below are all the skeleton rescue pets, Evil Moose, and Sexy White Claw costumes dunks you could ever desire. Hide from the haunted house party you’re at for a minute to scroll through and laugh maniacally to yourself.
me: *hits spider web down with broom*
me: *puts up fake spider web decorations for Halloween*
— ugly & sad🖤 🅙 (@SpookyGothLoser) October 5, 2019
ladies & gentlemen, i present to you my dads halloween costume pic.twitter.com/E9mJ6zJwig
— ashlyn (@AshlynDanyela) September 30, 2019
one time I was out on halloween and there was a guy wearing a fake moustache and a priest collar and I asked him "are you someone in particular or are you just moustache priest?" and he said "just moustache priest" and I said "cool"
— Mothney Reynolds (@whitneyarner) October 1, 2019
It’s that time of the year again bby
— javi (@venaverjavier) October 1, 2019
When you get sent to hell, these are the cookies in the waiting room while they process ya paperwork https://t.co/49MpWPp7Tc
— Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi (@roywoodjr) October 3, 2019
He was so terrified when we brought him home 2 days ago, now he’s a member of the family❤️ pic.twitter.com/AaZpBQ2kP3
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) October 6, 2019
spiders watching humans put webs all over their house during halloween pic.twitter.com/k7lLc6E7MU
— zander (@zandirts) October 11, 2019
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm clearly Sloth from "The Goonies." Let go of me!" pic.twitter.com/zYUrH9kO5F
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) October 7, 2019
my bf is 6’2 i’m 4’9. he said he wants us to be sully and mike wazowski for halloween smh where’s the eject button
— jordan stan account (@queerxcreep) October 1, 2019
Mariah Carey Waiting for the end of halloween🎄 pic.twitter.com/xE06iSW4Nx
— mahama٢🦋 (@SoleilRayonnant) October 1, 2019
how many bitches y’all think you know that are gonna dress as a white claw/slutty white claw for halloween and claim it was their original idea.. i can think of like five off the top of my head
— Tana Mongeau (@tanamongeau) October 3, 2019
my mom is decorating the outside of our house for halloween & she put this out i'm fucking SCREAMING pic.twitter.com/EG2QsdjRIn
— 𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖒𝖎𝖊 (@cobwebkitten) October 10, 2019
They won October already pic.twitter.com/Ex3I1VBPgA
— Memes 🐸🔌 (@supplierofmemes) October 7, 2019
I'm either a vampire or that guy in your creative writing class pic.twitter.com/qdaLVR72Te
— Jenny Nicholson @ Halloween (@JennyENicholson) October 3, 2019
halloween is my favorite holiday because you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand without getting in trouble
— McSpooky (@McNasty) October 3, 2019