Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.
Wife: But I only…
Me: EXACTLY the amount
— keith (@tchrquotes) November 4, 2014
[runs to the door to greet wife]
I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 28, 2016
Boss: I see your wife visited the office again.
Me (picking up throw pillows): Yep
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) August 16, 2018
Wife: [reaches for the fries on my plate]
Me: [slides grocery divider between plates]
Wife: you said you didn’t take that from the store.
Me: and you said you didn’t want any fries but here we are.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) August 16, 2018
The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences.
She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.
— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) April 12, 2016