Awkward

Twin Rivalry Gets Nasty When One Announces Her Engagement At The Other’s Wedding

Twins share a special bond, but sometimes sibling rivalry can take on a life of its own. What if you were getting married and your twin decided to announce her recent engagement at your wedding?

On Reddit, one twin is wondering if she was out of line for announcing her engagement at her sister’s wedding, claiming that she was just engaging in a little small talk.

However, her post leaves a lot to decipher between the lines—and none of it is good. The OP claims her sister is jealous of her and has lots of animosity towards her in general, but is this a case of an unreliable narrator? 

“My twin sister and I, both 24, have always had some kind of weird rivalry. It’s never really came from my side, always hers. Our dad left our family when we were 10 and because she wasn’t that close to our mom and I was, it created the resentment she now has for me. We have ups and downs in terms of our relationship,” the OP writes. 

“About a week ago, my sister got married to her boyfriend of one year. I’ve never liked their relationship, nor did I approve of them getting married so soon, but I went to the wedding. My fiancé and I got engaged about a week beforehand, and due to her wedding she asked if I would keep it under the radar until after the wedding which I hesitantly agreed to. To me it was just a sign of insecurity. My fiancé and I have been together almost 7 years, she shacked up with the first person who showed interest.”

Ouch, that’s needlessly harsh! 

“The wedding comes and it’s all fine, until the reception. It was fairly large, and a lot of people who I hadn’t seen since we graduated high school were there so I obviously took it as a chance to catch up. I’ve just got engaged, I’m not going to take my ring off to appease my sister, so naturally I got questions which I honestly responded to. I didn’t go out of my way to tell anybody we were engaged, but if someone asked I told them, which I don’t see anything wrong with. It’s unlikely I’ll see many of the attendees again so why should I have to wait.” 

Well, at the end of the night, the OP’s mom and sister pulled her aside and were absolutely furious. They said she made the night all about her, but the OP explains that she “didn’t get on top of the stage and announce it.” 

“They’ve both cut me off for apparently being incapable of letting other people have their ‘time to shine’ and pretty much everyone in our family and close circle of friends has told me I’m in the wrong.” 

It’s pretty apparent that the OP shouldn’t have used her twin’s wedding as the moment to talk about her engagement, but are there other issues in their relationship that could withstand some examination? 

“The audacity of OP to accuse her sister of ‘shacking up with the first person who showed interest’ when she’s now engaged to someone she was with at 17 and was likely also the first person who showed her interest,” said PmMeLowCarbRecipes. 

“This pretty much covers it. I’m thinking op is really bitter that sis got married first when she’s been in a relationship for 7 years on top of their childhood issues. Gee, I wonder why she’s not married yet…big coincidence that she gets a ring a week before the sisters wedding, right? (There could be perfectly good reasons, I know, but given op’s attitude, I have doubts),” said tnscatterbrain. 

“Everyone else has told you so, why are you expecting a different answer here? The way you wrote about the situation and the way you went about it sounds so slimey and snakey. If you didn’t want to do it, then you should have said no when they asked you to keep it under wraps. Definitely not a one sided rivalry, you’re not as innocent as you make yourself out to be,” xreiachan noted. 

“I think you should re read what you wrote here and answer your own question. You could have simply said ‘today is my sisters day and I will be making an announcement at a later date. Let’s focus on my sisters happiness right now! Isn’t everything just so beautiful? Are you having a good time?’ You are judgmental about her relationship and clearly respect her, including the promises you make to her, very little. You stole her limelight on her wedding day. That is awful,” said endlessnanosecond.

“It really wouldn’t have killed you to have taken the ring off and kept it quiet for one day, that’s all she was asking and it’s completely reasonable. From the way you write about her it sounds like you really resent her, which makes you even more of an AH. Just because she got married sooner than you, and has known her husband for a shorter period of time than you’ve known your fiancé does not mean your relationship is any better. You really could have chosen to let her have her special day and just been happy for her,” observed Rex12354. 

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Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.