Aimeé
People are really willing to share their most shameful memories on Reddit, probably because shameful memories often make good stories. Redditor u/azgrunt asked the crowd on r/AskReddit, “What’s the most embarrassing story of you getting caught watching porn?”
This is a group that has watched a whole lot of porn.
While most of these stories take place in people’s teen years, when they’re young, stupid, horny, and under their parent’s roof, a few of these folks got busted as full-grown adults. The lesson here is that we’re never too old to embarrass ourselves over the desire to masturbate with some visual aids. Double-check your connections, clear your browsing data, and for goodness sake, be careful with the Chromecast. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.
1.
When my dad asked me why BIG TITS was on the Google search history. I was 11 and I told him I saw those words in a book and wanted to know what they meant. —Mannibal_Lecter
2.
Ugh my dad was cooking once and had a recipe on his iPad which was in landscape mode—his search history was on the side of the screen and I noticed it was all either gaming stuff or cooking stuff- I was going to make a joke and read it out until I noticed BIG JUICY TITS with the url being pornhub. I was beyond disgusted and havent looked at his iPad since —zoologist88
3.
Actually chromecasted it to my downstairs tv. That feeling of ooh shit when you don’t hear the volume is the absolute worst —the_riddler_30
4.
I don’t have an embarrassing story about porn specifically, but I have one about jerking off.
I was on this four-day school field trip to the Appalachian mountains where we stayed in cabins in the summer between 8th grade and my freshman year of HS. Only about 20-30 students went because it costed a lot of money and also it required us to hike up the mountains to reach the cabins.
Anyways, it took us about 4-5 hours for everyone to hike up the mountains and when we reached the cabin I was overcome with being cold and an intense urge to jerk off. Our chaperones told us we had about an hour to do whatever we wanted as long as we stayed within the boundaries of the main cabin and the sleeping cabins, so I headed up to my cabin prepared with the alibi that I was taking a nap. So once I get into my cabin, I head on over to my bed, get inside my sleeping bag that’s on the bed and put a blanket over me for extra precaution (and because its freezing out). Inside my sleeping bag, I take off my pants and started my session. During my session, I had my eyes shut because I was so in the moment that I didn’t notice one of my cabin-mates was on his way in. I managed to notice him right before he walked in.
He asked me “Hey [my name], you alright?”
I replied “Yeah, just sleeping”, but I got the wierdest feeling he caught on.
“Oh ok then” and he drops his stuff next to his assigned bed and heads back to the main cabin.
I didn’t learn from my first mistake and shut my eyes again to return to my session. About 5 min later, my chaperone came to the cabin, and I didn’t notice she was walking in as well. We had a conversation,
“Hey [my name], [my cabin-mate’s name] told me you were sleeping”
“Yea”
“Well, we’re about to start one of our activities, come on back to the cabin” and she wouldn’t leave until I got up. The only problem was that inside my sleeping bag, my pants were down to my ankles and I had no way to subtly pull them back up. So I told her “What the? I think I’m stuck” because struggling to get out of the sleeping bag looks identical to trying to pull up my pants.
The situation got worse. She tried HELPING ME GET OUT OF MY SLEEPING BAG! At this point, I was like “oh god oh f*ck shitshitshitshit”.
Luckily, I managed to pull my pants before she got me out of my sleeping bag. Then I noticed something. I looked out the door and lo and behold the cabin-mate from before was peeking into the room laughing his ass off at me. That motherf*cker. Never again. —masturprocrastinator
5.
Watched lesbian porn on the family computer as a young teen girl in a pretty religious household. My parents sat my brother and I down for questioning, totally believed it was him. Although I know for a fact he also used that computer to watch porn on so it wasn’t too far fetched. Close one for me! —choadally
6.
I blew the family monthly data usage (we had like 30gb between 6 people) and I costed the family like an extra $100, they found out when they checked my data breakdown which had pornhub network at like 19gb.—mlg_AsteriiX_
7.
In college: Roommate’s boyfriend came into my room while I was masturbating. I had panicked and lied that I was doing homework when he knocked so he thought it was safe to come in. Unfortunately I forgot I didn’t lock it. He saw me basically half naked laying with my legs open on my bed next to my laptop. He stared briefly and then he left and never mentioned it again. —RandomSubbing
8.
11 year old me was watching lesbian porn on YouTube on the family ipad (f—king huge mistake) and forgot to delete history. I was laying in bed when my older sister came with the ipad and said “why are you watching videos of girls kissing girls?” tried my best to pretend i knew nothing but she knew obviously. Growing up in a strictly religious home she held it against me for a damn long time. —Jansiz
9.
My embarrassment and I was not actually trying to surf porn. I work for a large aerospace company and I was on a business trip back in 2005ish at a supplier site. The night before the meeting I was killing time on safe sites on my work provided laptop (not looking at porn). Porn on a work computer will get you fired even if you are not on company time. I typed in what I thought was trout unlimited. I typed something wrong and hit a corrupted site and it loaded malware called “cool web search”. This crap instantly started loading pop ups but they were not porn. I called my support center and they helped me go through a process they said would remove it.
I powered down for the night. So the next day I’m getting ready for a presentation in front of a big audience. I fire up my laptop and and get ready with my teammates for a quick review before we show it on the big screen. Before my laptop even gets to the main home screen some pop ups automatically start loading, Full in you face hardcore porn adware pop ups automatically start loading one after the other. I grab the projector connection and rip it out just to prevent possible broadcast of my display. My teammates flip out and everyone immediately starts snarking about what I was doing the night before. The audience starts wondering what the commotion is all about because it was a lot of excitement for a presentation on product lifecycle management in aerospace.
I try to stay calm as I am getting ready to speak in front of a big audience. I say to my team, I was not surfing porn! And that comes across as “I surfed porn” . The front rows of the room have a few snickers and my mind is going nuts on what to do. I realize that our computing keeps tabs on every website we visit so I have comfort knowing that there is no evidence of deliberately surfing porn. I have a teammate use his laptop for the presentation, took a deep breath and powered on. Some friends in the audience come up afterwards and give me a bad time. The news traveled fast. Nothing I can say will clear me so I just say IT has my history and will clear me if needed. I am not going down for this. When I got back, IT had to completely flatten and reload to get rid of “cool web search”. I still think about how close I was to broadcasting porn to a big audience. —Gbhstrat
10.
Ugh, still my most embarrassing moment in life. When I was younger, I would watch everything.
BDSM, lesbian, incest, etc. I’m talking like 14 (as a girl). Dad went into the hospital one day and as my family was sitting in the waiting room, my grandpa and brother took my tablet to see something. Saw my history: dad f*cking son. I try to block that experience out of my head but I was thinking about it just yesterday. Still the most horrific thing to happen to me in my life, and I’ve embarrassed myself a lot. You guys are the first to hear this story from me; we’ve never brought it up again, thank you Jesus. —warsaw1000
