It’s always a little tacky to make a pregnancy announcement at someone else’s big event, but sometimes it can’t be helped.
Often, big events are the only time when a majority of family members are gathered together, and it seems like a good idea to make such announcements in person.
But what if the event was a child’s birthday—and that child had been previously battling a serious illness?
That’s what one mom on Reddit experienced, and she’s wondering if she overreacted by yelling at her brother and sister-in-law for upstaging her child’s birthday party with their pregnancy announcement.
“Hi. I’m a 37 year old mom. First off let me start by saying that my 13 year old daughter Maya was suffering from blood cancer and it was incredibly hard on her because of how weak she was. We’d seen some pretty awful days. I was exhausted I had zero strength to handle it. It was just me and my husband doing everything my parents themselves been dealing with health issues but my brother and his wife only visited a couple of times and that was it. My brother’s wife made some backhanded comments about Maya’s health/look while Maya was struggling. Maya cried twice because of her insensitivity and lack of consideration. We kept our distance from her and my brother and focused on Maya,” the OP writes.
“It’s been nearly over a year now and Maya is in good health and I’m so thankful for that. Last year unfortunately, we didn’t get to celebrate her birthday due to circumstances but this year her grandparents said they wanted to celebrate her birthday at their house. I agreed. Maya has a wonderful relationship with her grandparents and I knew she’d want to go celebrate her birthday with them. My mom invited family members. My brother and his wife were already there since they always visit.”
The party started off well—and then the OP’s sister-in-law got up and said that she had her husband had an announcement to make.
The OP thinks it was planned “by the look on his wife’s face.” Well, you can guess what the announcement was: they were expecting. Congratulations ensued, and Maya was kind of forgotten.
“I was standing next to Maya and I noticed she was uncomfortable. Sister in law basically stole my daughter’s birthday to announce her pregnancy even though she could’ve picked another day. Maya seemed upset until the party was over she didn’t even open some gifts as everyone else was sitting and talking to my sister in law.”
“We left an hour early and once I got home I called my sister in law and asked her why she thought it was okay for her to ruin my daughter’s birthday and crush her spirit after having been through so much that this party was needed. I basically lashed out at her and told her she could’ve picked another day. But she pulled the ‘the whole family was there, so I couldn’t miss the chance’ nonsense.”
The OP got into an argument with her brother, who said that they didn’t do anything and the OP should apologize for being mean and rude for no reason.
Was the OP acting unreasonably? Or should her brother and sister-in-law have waited for another moment to announce the pregnancy?
“You never steal another person’s moment to announce one of your own. Ever. I don’t care if it’s the only time in the next decade everyone will be together. You don’t steal someone else’s moment. And especially not the moment of a kid who’s had a very rough year, probably terrified that she wouldn’t even see another birthday, and finally gets to have a celebration and a little normalcy. Your brother and SIL deserve to be raked over the coals a few more times. And can the rest of society agree that the appropriate response to this sort of behavior is ‘that’s nice, but not now’ and go back to celebrating the original thing,” said RedoubtableSouth.
“If people insist on stealing a moment from others I wish everyone else would make it awkward and uncomfortable for them so that they LEARN NOT TO DO IT. I would say I think there is an exception here if you’ve agreed ahead of time with whoever’s party/wedding/event it is that they are happy for you to make your announcement, but even then I feel like even asking them puts them on the spot and makes it difficult for them to say no,” noted CrazyShoeLady.
“NTA. Your daughter deserved a moment. She’s a child and an adult took her limelight,” observed BushElk.
“Even if your daughter had not been through a health crisis, announcing something like that a her birthday party is still insensitive and incredibly rude. They couldn’t even bother to wait until the end of the party,” said jeansareformalwear.
“I could understand if they announced at the end of the night after cake & presents and all the birthday stuff was done. But to interrupt a child opening presents, especially one who has been through as much as your daughter, is unkind. I think you should have called out your brother first, perhaps, but they both deserved it,” said evilcatsorcery.
Lead image: Pixabay.
More high-quality links you may or may not like:
- Woman Asks If She’s The A-Hole For Ruining Her Sister-In-Law’s Smoke Bomb Gender Reveal
- Mother-In-Law Asks If It’s Wrong To Wear Black To Her Son’s Wedding After He Was “Put Off” By The Idea
- This Gross Pregnancy Reveal Shirt Has Become An Even Grosser Meme (10 Tweets)
- Cartoonist Shares Her Minute-By-Minute Party Plans From When She Was 8 Years Old