11. Placating The Alligators
“When my son was 3 years old, we noticed the smell of burnt plastic coming from our heater vents. I called one of our friends that worked in heating and cooling and he came over. Our furnace was in our crawl space so he went down. About 15 minutes later, he asked me to hand him 3 black garbage bags through one of the vents so I did so. He came up later with 3 bags of plastic toys. I had wondered where all my sons toys were going.
I asked my son why he was putting toys down the vents. He said, ‘mommy, there are alligators down there and if I don’t feed them my toys, they will eat my sister.'” — AngelFox1
12. Look At My Armpit
“My 3 year olds first joke was ‘hey look at my armpit’ and she would point at her armpit and laugh. She would do this over and over. They warn you about first steps and first words but first joke? I am a proud dad.” — djsantadad
13. Drawings Of Coffins
“My mother was horrified at the many drawings of coffins floating down rivers I made for her in preschool. She literally cried at the thought a child could do something so morbid.
I only drew them because my mom and I watched a magic show on TV a few weeks prior that was so cool to me at the time – the magician locked himself in a coffin and went over a waterfall and came out at the end perfectly unharmed! I didn’t get why she was so upset at something so amazing!” — barely-famous
14. Eating Paper Towels
“My cousin used to spray the sore throat spray on paper towels and eat them. Like a lot.” — donutzmom
15. Someone’s In The TV
“Parents always told me that I used to wake up in the middle of the night and point to the tv saying that someone was there.” — CoffeeAddict1011
16. Turd Bombs
“Packing turds into cardboard tubes with toilet paper and hiding em under the sink. She called them “poop bombs”. there was like 10 of em under there.” — quiveringmass
17. Eating Worms
“I saw my kid, who was 4, in the back yard looking for bugs or worms. He grab something and put it in his mouth. I asked him about a few minutes later. He said he ate a worm. I laughed and asked why. He said he wanted to know what it tasted like. So I asked what did it taste like. He said it tasted like mud.
The next day I asked him if he really ate a worm. He replied, ‘Yea’ in the most defeated and embarrassed way any human could. Ya live, ya learn eh.” — RigobertaMenchu
18. Soft Eyebrows
“When my son was about 3 years old, he liked to wash his eyebrows with my facial cleanser. Just the eyebrows. Wet, lather, rinse, repeat. He said it made them nice and soft.” — darkpixie1
19. Circle Of Life
“My little sister used to do pretty weird stuff. She used to lay over the side of the couch so her head was upside-down and drool spit down her face until it filled her nose. She said that it would go through her nose back into her mouth like a circle.”
20. Licking Butter
“My mother caught me licking butter from the box. Still remember the look of absolute horror on her face.” — Old-Mac-Donald-Trump