As an only child, there are just some things about sibling relationships that I do not understand. Take for example a brother who wants to propose to his girlfriend at his brother’s wedding—and claims the move is about “getting even” for when that brother announced his engagement at a special dinner party. I don’t get it, but there you go.
The brother who is currently wedding planning has since threatened to kick his brother out of the wedding, and now he’s wondering if that makes him a jerk—so he went on Reddit to get some opinions about the situation.
“A couple weeks ago I was talking about the wedding with my brother (30M) and he asked if it’d be okay for him to propose to his girlfriend at our wedding. I laughed and said, ‘Yeah, sure, if you want to get your ass handed to you by my fiancée.’ He laughed, and I figured he got the message,” writes the OP.
“The other day my fiancée came to me, in tears, saying that my brother had called her and thanked her for letting him propose at the wedding. She told him that had never happened, and he wasn’t allowed to do that, and he just laughed and thanked her again.”
So the OP called his brother and asked him what the deal was with this proposal. That’s when things got even weirder.
“He’s insisting that he’s going to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding. He claims it’s “getting even” for when I announced our engagement at the same family dinner he brought his girlfriend to meet the family (I had no idea, they arrived separately and she got there after I had made the announcement). I told him if he doesn’t get it through his head that he is absolutely not allowed to propose, both him and his girlfriend won’t be allowed into the wedding at all, and if he tries to pull a stunt, he’ll be kicked out immediately.”
The OP’s brother got annoyed and told the whole family about the situation. Now, the OP is getting harassed by his own family who says he is turning his back on his brother.
“I still stand by what I did, I don’t think I was out of line at all, but my fiancée thinks we should have just let him propose to avoid conflict. I know it means a lot to her that everyone gets along and that there’s no hard feelings, especially since she’s feeling stressed as is, but I don’t want to give in to my brother.”
There’s a lot of sibling rivalry-related stuff to unpack here, so let’s see what the Redditors came up with.
“It’s your wedding. Besides, proposing at a wedding is super awkward. Like. The wedding is about the couple, not someone who’s going to be getting married in the future,” said Lunararchon.
“A marriage that starts with a revenge proposal probably isn’t going to last. If he feels like he needs to one-up his brother, he can’t be that secure or happy in his own relationship,” noted MightyRacoon98.
“Stand your ground on this. It sounds like he’s doing it to annoy you not because he even wants to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding,” said TroyandAbed_Morning.
“He’s trying to manipulate you both into letting him propose at your wedding….to get even with you for something you weren’t even doing on purpose (announcing an engagement when you weren’t aware he was introducing his girlfriend that day). He specifically went out of his way to harass you and your fiancée about this and now he’s acting the injured party? No. He shouldn’t be allowed to propose just because he got it into his head you “deserve” the pain,” maggienetism explained.
“And since he already told you that his intention is to take revenge on you, I’d bet that he’ll try to ruin your wedding in another way even if not by proposing. The whole laughing and thanking your fiancée and you despite being told “no” is pretty gross, does his girlfriend know that these are the circumstances (the post states that at least the family knows)? It might be wiser not to have either of them (brother and girlfriend) at your wedding, unfortunately, based on how intent he is on ruining your and your fiancée’s wedding,” said Uni-Applicant.
Personally, I think these brothers might need a therapist to intervene or else I can see this dynamic spilling over into every significant event in their lives. What do you think?
More wedding drama:
- “I Did Lose My Cool”—Bride’s Fiancé Asks To Pay Tribute To Deceased Girlfriend At Wedding
- Bride Asks If She’s Wrong To Tell Blind Friend She Can’t Bring Service Dog To Her Wedding
- Bride Dragged After Asking How To Un-Invite Pregnant Bridesmaid From Wedding Party
- “What’s The Cringiest Thing You’ve Seen A Bride And Groom Do For Their Wedding?“—39 Replies